- [Male Narrator] Sherry Vanderslik

remembers growing up in atight knit church community.

- It was nine families,

and we would get togetherweekly in somebody's home.

As years went by,

I realized that nobody confronted anybody,

nobody ever dealt with anything.

It was all very much

appearances was the most important thing.

It was hypocrisy to me, it was very fake.

- [Male Narrator] The hypocrisy

that Sherry experienced was evident

right in her own home.

- I was scared of my dad.

He was very, very firm.

You weren't supposed to ask questions,

you didn't argue.

You just did what you're told.

The fear was almost daily

because you never knew for sure

what was going to set him off,

what was going to make him angry.

Many times, you know,

you would just get slapped

or spanked or you got the belt,

but you didn't knowexactly what you did wrong.

I was very much an introvert, very quiet.

I didn't make a lot of friends.

I tended to stick to myself a lot.

I was the most well behaved daughter

that anybody could ever hope for.

Inside I was full of anger.

Even at 13 I wished thatI wasn't alive anymore.

I wished for death.

I didn't enjoy being a teenager,

didn't enjoy growing up.

I left high school in grade 12,

after a month of being in there.

- [Male Narrator] Desperate to break free

from the dysfunction at home,

Sherry hopped on a planeright after high school,

and vowed she would never look back.

But her sheltered upbringing

could not prepare herfor the sudden freedom

that she would soon experience.

- I was quickly introduced, the first day,

already to alcohol and drugs,

and things just went downhillvery quickly after that.

I had been in a relationship

with a man 10 years older than me.

He was no alcoholic.

He was verbally abusive, sexually abusive,

emotionally abusive,

and I was scared to death of him,

but I was also pregnantwith his baby and terrified.

- [Male Narrator] Too young

and too scared to gothrough the pregnancy,

Sherry decided on an abortion,

a decision that haunted her.

And with no one to offer her support,

she flew home, seekingsome sort of comfort.

Her parents weren't exactlywaiting with open arms.

- My mom had picked me upand she didn't say much.

I didn't get a hug orwelcome home or anything.

So we went back to the house,

and just this surrealnessof the whole thing,

of walking in and my dadjust kind of staring at me

from the other side of the kitchen

and my mum being distant.

And I could feel myselfwanting to just fall apart.

I wanted to just weep.

And I did.

By that point I had been used, you know,

in so many different ways too,

and allowed things to happen to me

that I would have never allowed

had I still been living at home.

Having the abortion,

and realizing that I haddeliberately made a decision

to kill my own child,

filled me with suchguilt and pain and shame.

It was devastating.

I never felt the same again after that.

- [Male Narrator] Sherry had no trouble

in the dating scene,

and would soon marry the man of her dreams

and begin her own family.

But she carried a lifetime

of low self worth into the marriage.

- My marriage wasn't a good marriage.

I married this man

because I didn't think anybody else

would love me the same way he did.

I loved myself so little

that I was willing to settle for anything,

any sign of love or anything.

He was not faithful to me.

I had to pack up thekids and we moved out.

It was really, really a hard time.

As a wife and a woman,

I always felt like I lacked what it took.

I always felt like

that I was never gonnabe enough for someone.

I started drinking.

I started smoking again.

I was drinking to numb the pain,

to numb the loneliness,

to numb the shame.

Cause I realized

that I was hurting mychildren in the process,

so I briefly saw a Christian counselor,

but it wasn't really going anywhere.

For some reason that I can't remember

I stopped going for counseling,

just tried to do it on my own.

- [Male Narrator] It wasn't long

before Sherry was headingdown the aisle again.

This time the relationshipwas eerily similar

to the one with her own father.

- I was starving forattention, for affection,

for someone to look after me.

I did everything I could

to try and make it work,

to be the best wife, tobe the best listener.

He went away for workand he met someone else.

I confronted him, he still lied about it,

but everyone knew.

And our marriage came to an end.

That point, I think,

was one of the lowest points of my life.

- [Male Narrator] Alcoholbecame a way to numb the pain,

and soon it became the onlything that Sherry cared about.

- I chose alcohol over everything else.

I chose to go home and drink

instead of going away way with friends.

It affected everything I did.

- [Male Narrator] Her addiction got worse,

and Sherry was blind to thefact that everyone around her

began to distance themselves.

- My three kids weren't

having anything to do with me anymore.

They walked away,

and I knew they walked away.

And they told me, but I stillwas unable to stop drinking.

I still chose to drinkinstead of get help.

- [Male Narrator] Sherrywasn't alone in her suffering.

Her sister also tried to maskher own pain with alcohol.

And when it got out of control,

her family called Sherry tohelp with an intervention.

- I was kind of justjoking around with my mom

and my daughter,

and I said "well, it's a good thing

"I'm not that bad,

"like I don't need help."

And the room went quiet.

Inside I wanted someone to do this for me.

I wanted help so bad.

They both said out loud"mom, you need help.

"You really need help.

"You need to go away."

- [Male Narrator] Finally through

with trying to help herself,

Sherry applied to the one yearaddiction recovery program

at the Windsor Life Center,

a place known to help women

turn their lives around,

and known to be deeply rooted in faith.

- When I came here,

all these other facets of whatGod actually is came to life.

This feeling of complete lightnesscame over me, of healing.

I knew I didn't even look,

my reflection appeared different to me.

And all of a sudden I thought

I'm not that bad,

I'm actually not that bad.

I like myself.

I liked myself for thefirst time in years.

- [Male Narrator] What God gave Sherry

was a new purpose in life.

- I wake up daily

and God's the first thing on my mind.

I wake up thanking him,

that I am sober and clear,

and no shame, no guilt.

My children are completely,fully back in my life.

That in itself was worthgoing away for a year,

just to be able to have all my kids

love me and respect me,

and look at me and say"mom, you're so different."

And I see now that our young people,

our kids, need our supportas parents, you know.

And what better way thanto be a godly mother

and help raise my grandchildren,

or take them for the weekend

and give them a break,

or be able to pray withthem over the phone

if they're struggling.

There is no other thingthat I can think of

that comes close to this

than just being a godly mommy.