- [Narrator] Sarah Carlsonis a former CIA analyst,

stationed in Libya.

After the 2012 attacks in Benghazi,

that killed four Americans,

Sarah remained behindto complete her mission,

and it almost cost her her life.

- So we did have a Marine combat unit,

we couldn't do anythingto defend ourselves

against rockets coming in.

- [Narrator] In her book,"In the Dark of War,"

Sarah gives her inside account

into the U.S. evacuation from Libya.

- Sarah Carlson, welcome to the show.

It's good to have you with us.

- Thank you so much for having me on.

- Your drive to serve and protect

first started after 9/11,

when you entered theDefense Intelligence Agency.

What was the pull for youto go in this direction,

and then later to move on to the CIA?

- After the terrorist attacks of 9/11,

I really wanted to do somethingat the national level.

And I really believed my mother raised us

with a heart of service.

That was really importantto my brothers and I,

to all serve, so after 9/11,

actually all three of mybrothers joined the military.

And so I was really drivento join defense as well.

And my boss, at the time, recommended

the Defense Intelligence Agency.

And so I did that for about five years,

before ultimately joining CIA.

- After you joined the CIA,you were assigned to Libya,

and it was a short timeafter that Benghazi attack.

What was it like enteringthat country, at that time?

- It was very scary (laughing).

You know, I knew what I was getting into,

so I was fully aware of it.

I just felt like thatwas God's path for me,

and I needed to followit, and go down that road,

and I was there for a reason.

And it was still verynerve wracking to be there,

but I think my faith reallyhelped me get through it

and to do my work, tothe best of my ability.

- Talk a little bit aboutdoing your work at that point,

you were one of the only females,

and you spent most of yourtime in a windowless room,

going over intelligence items.

What was your time in the compound like?

- It's not very glamorous right?

It's not like the movies.

It was a lot of hard work.

So I was one of the first people

who would get up in the morning.

My chief there used toask me every morning,

"What's going on for the day?"

And I needed to have an answer.

So I was one of the first up,

and then often one of the last to leave.

So it was reading, a lot of reading,

and then writing different assessments,

and then briefing people on them.

So the main focus, ofcourse, was security.

So that was the bulk of my effort,

was looking at the terroristgroup operating there,

the one that conductedthe Benghazi attacks.

And I was really worried,

because I knew they weremoving closer to our location.

- The day of the evacuationwas July 26th, 2014.

Walk us through that day, if you will.

- Yes, so we left quiteearly in the morning.

I think it was like around 5:00 a.m.

So we wanted to leavewhile it was still dark,

but we wanted to get tothe first checkpoint,

by the time it had started to lighten up,

so that we could see them.

But yeah, pulling out of that front gate,

that first time, it wasjust absolutely terrifying.

And I remember, I couldn'teven form words in a prayer.

It just became like a mantra,

but I know God understood,and pulling out of that gate

was one of the scariestmoments in my life.

So it ended up taking quite a long time.

We didn't get to Tunisiauntil like 26 hours later.

So it was supposed tohave gone much faster,

but it did end up takingquite a lot of time.

- The role that you were in,Sarah, was very sacrificial

in that there was very littleappreciation, if you will,

for what you did, but theday of the evacuation orders,

even after that, you feltas though your mission,

and the sacrifice thatyou were required to give,

weren't important, and thatyou didn't really succeed.

Did you, do you still feel this way?

- You know, after I felt anoverwhelming sense of loss,

that you knew we were there,

and it was so importantfor our national security,

and then it felt like we just gave up.

And a lot of just awful things

have happened in Libya since then.

And it took a while toreconcile what happened,

and to try to find meaning in it.

And the book, honestly,was part of that process,

writing it out.

And ultimately, I know now that I helped

save the lives of over 150 people,

and that's why I was there,and that I did it for them.

- Mhm, all of these eventsin Libya left you with PTSD.

Then you decided to leave that career,

and became a, came into another identity.

How have you managed all of this,

and where are you at right now?

- I think my family hascertainly helped me.

They've been really supportive,

in processing through the PTSD.

And of course my faith hashelped me through that as well.

Now I'm an emergency manager,so it's been very gratifying

to be able to puteverything that I learned

in my last career, intonow helping my hometown.

So we're preparing forall types of disasters,

from like an activeshooter, to civil unrest,

to volcano, and now ofcourse the pandemic.

So it's been reallynice to be able to take

all that experience, andhelp people here, locally.

- How did your faith,and even your upbringing

as a pastor's kid, help youduring your time in Libya,

and even today?

- I think it gave me a sense of purpose.

I mean, my faith is thefoundation for everything, right?

And I think it gave mesomething to hold onto,

and gave me that sense of purpose.

Like, I knew I was exactlywhere God wanted me to be,

and that more than anythinghelped me get through it.

- And it helped you writethis book, I'm sure,

because it's the story ofall that Sarah went through.

The book is called "In the Dark of War,"

and it's availablewherever books are sold.

Thank you so much for sharingyour story with us today,

Sarah, nice to have you with us.

- [Sarah] Thank you so much.