(upbeat music)

- Dawn Barton is a joyologist.

She's been able to find happiness

during the worst times andin the unlikeliest places.

So, what's her secret?

It's a lesson she hadto learn the hard way.

- [Narrator] When author DawnBarton says joy is a choice,

she means it.

She has experienced moreheartache in her lifetime

than you could imagine.

The loss of a child, cancer

and her husband's substance abuse.

Yet despite Dawn's difficult journey,

she found God and unexpected joy

in the midst of her pain.

In her book, "Laughingthrough the Ugly Cry,"

Dawn shares personal storieson how to find happiness

and purpose even in your darkest days.

- Well Dawn Barton joins us now via Skype

and Dawn it's great to have you with us.

- Good morning, I'm so excited to be here.

- Well, we have mentionedjust a few of the traumas

you talk about in your book,

things that you've enduredthat would destroy many people.

How do you find joythrough things like cancer

or the death of a child?

- Well, I don't thinkthat when we're right

in the midst of it thatthere's joy, of course

and I don't wanna eversound flippant about that.

But I will say through thetrials of losing a child

and being raped and myhusband's alcoholism

and my sister passing away from cancer,

there were so many unexpected blessings

and unexpected lessonsand I just came to realize

that in it that joy of God and God is joy

and so it just started toshine a little bit more

through each trial that I had.

- How do we position ourselves to be able

to look for those thingsor even recognize them

in the midst of the trial or the trauma?

- Well, I think that thesaying that joy is a choice

sounds so cliche butI truly believe it is.

I think that joy is thefocus before it's a feeling.

And I think when we get up in the morning

and we, excuse me, we put on a shirt,

same thing we have to put on the ability

to focus on joy justlike we focus on peace

or we focused on love

and I think that is truly isas cliched as it may sound,

but it's a choice, it really is.

- Is this, I think somepeople would wonder,

is this a fake it till youmake it sort of approach

or how do you do that?

- Oh gosh, I thinksometimes believe it or not,

it kinda is.

I remember when I lost my child,

I had a faith that wasfragile to say the least

and I broke up with God,

God didn't break up withme, I broke up with God.

And in that season, Godsprinkled people in my life

and I remember trying to acthappy when you don't feel it

and be happy for the childthat I still had at home.

And that was, I thinka little bit of faking

but not what became thisstrained force thing

then became a natural thing

and I think sometimes we just have to,

I remember seasons when Ijust needed to get out of bed.

And so maybe that iskinda faking it but yeah.

- Well, I think it's almostlike what I noticed was

you never let yourself become swallowed up

by the grief of things.

But talk a little bit about grief

because grief is a normalpart of the moving on process,

so how did you deal with that?

- Well, I definitely had hellacious grief

and in and out of it in different seasons.

Sometimes you're driving down the street

and you have to pull overbecause it just hits you

like a ton of bricks.

But I was also proactive about it.

There were times when I, of course,

didn't wanna get out of bed

and there's that moment when you say,

go take a shower today,you have to get up.

And then I had therapyand I got into the word

and this in the seasons

that I finally really came to know God,

I realized that goingthrough my struggles with him

was much different thangoing through my struggles

without him and it was so different,

it was just this difference of a feeling

as if you're almostbeing carried in a sense

versus struggling andtreading water on your own.

And so for me, the griefis getting in the world

and I don't mean to soundcliched and flippant

about anything like thatbecause there is a season

that is so unbelievabley painful

but you do have to at some point

seek help if that's whatyou need and move forward.

- Talk a little bit ifyou will about your cancer

because it was an unexpected occurrence

but you say that it becamea strange, unexpected gift

in what way?

- It really did, at that timemy husband was active duty

with the Navy and he was in Bahrain

so I was at home with a four-year-old

and I had just been diagnosed

with stage three triplenegative breast cancer.

And one of the sweetest,most beautiful things

that I heard is this will bethe worst year of the life

and the best year of your life.

And I thought at the time, no it won't,

it will definitely be theworst year of my life.

But it wasn't because throughthat I came to see God

just shower me with incredible people

who had wonderful gifts of nurturing

and loving and caregiving.

So even though my husbandwas God, my husband (laughs)

my husband was gone, I feltthis overwhelming feeling

of love that just carried me through

and I don't think I wouldhave ever experienced

all those incredible giftshad I not had cancer.

- Yeah, scripture says that the joy

of the Lord is your strength.

How have your joy and yourfaith gone hand in hand?

- Oh gosh, it is my life.

And like I said God is joy, joy is God

and I think that havingexperienced portions of my life

where that faith wasn't there

and then to watch joy and faith

and the things that God has done.

When my husband battled with alcoholism

I was in the season that I believed

there was no way Godcould heal where we were.

There were so much hurt andthere were so much anger,

there was no way.

And then you can seewhere today we had faith

and now there was joy

and that it continues and continues.

- It's an amazing storyand a wonderful book.

I want all of you who are with us today

to know you can readmore about choosing joy

in Dawn's book which isbeautiful, by the way,

it's "Laughing through the Ugly Cry."

And it's available wherever books are sold

but you really do addresssome amazing challenges

and difficulties witha word of encouragement

for everybody.

Thanks for being with us today.

- Thank you for having me.- So good to talk with you.