- And it was a small tiny poker room,

they might have had three or four tables.

And it was like dingyand guys are smoking,

it looks just like the old time movies.

- [Narrator] John Simmons still remembers

the first time he walked into a casino.

It was on a trip to Vegasfor his 21st birthday.

- The guys at the tablegot their sunglasses on,

and they're bluffing each other,

and it's just fillingme up with all this joy,

and I'm like, I love this.

That was really the inception

of when I decided to really pursue trying

to make poker something more

than just a fun thing Idid with friends sometimes.

- [Narrator] Back home in St. Louis,

John soon became aregular at local casinos.

- There's no better feeling

than putting a wad of money in your pocket

knowing that you didn't doanything really to earn it.

There's a lot of joy,

and a lot of adrenalinethat pokes up in your heart.

And it draws you back,

because the feeling of chasingthat moment is intense.

- [Narrator] Gamblingalso filled a deeper need.

- Gambling gave me a sense of purpose,

it gave me a sense of identity back then.

I would be a person who couldbe seen by others as like,

oh, that guy is a multi-millionaire

and all he does is play poker.

He must be so good at it.

- [Narrator] Driven to becomea respected poker player,

John got a job at acasino as a card dealer.

He made good money,

and was learning more about the game.

- If I wasn't working, I was playing.

If I wasn't playing, I was sleeping.

If I wasn't sleeping, I was working.

You know, I wanted to bearound this thing that I loved.

- [Narrator] But Lady Luckwas rarely on his side.

After three years at the poker table,

John was over $200,000 in debt

and had to declare bankruptcy.

- In my mind, it wasn'tthat I was failing,

it's, I just needed to keep going.

I just need to figure out how to fix it.

If I could only win the next thing,

none of these losses matter.

- [Narrator] He still had somedebt after the bankruptcy,

so John started working extra hours

desperately trying to pay it off.

But again, he dumpedhis money into gambling.

- I would spend my entire paycheck

over the course of a weekend

trying to chase my debts,

but a lot of times I wouldbe zero dollars in my pocket.

My mind would start to beat myself up,

why'd you do that?

You owe this money,

you should've just paid this guy?

Now you're in it so much worse.

And it was just such aterrible way to live.

I couldn't stop though,

- [Narrator] Hoping for a big score

and chasing the illusion,

it was the answer to his problems.

John kept betting.

- I just always thought,

if all I did was win.

If I just won one tournament,

if I win this million dollars,

no one will be mad at me anymore.

I'll be the person thatpeople envy in my life.

- [Narrator] For a second time,

John was hundreds ofthousands of dollars in debt.

Now almost 30,

he decided to take anhonest look at his life.

- I finally had a realization

that everything that Itried to do wasn't working

and maybe I'm the problem.

And so I decided thatI was gonna go to rehab

for the first time on my own will.

- [Narrator] John startedattending group therapy

for those with a gambling addiction.

But even after staying clean for 90 days,

he still felt theburning desire to gamble.

He asked his sponsor about it,

who gave an answer that left John stunned.

- He said that you'renever gonna be fixed,

you're just gonna have to learn

to live a day at a time,or 15 minutes at a time.

And I remember thinking,

that's not the life I want.

You're supposed to fix me,

you're not gonna fix me?

If I can't get fixed,

what's the point of doing any of it?

- [Narrator] With all hope gone,

John went on an eight day bender

pawning all his possessions

and gambling away every last cent.

- I'm contemplating allthese suicidal thoughts,

kind of just thinking backto my life that I've lived,

again nothing I've ever donehas been worth anything.

And that was very heartbreaking to me,

that realization in that moment.

- [Narrator] As a last resort,

John turned to God.

- I didn't even know whoJesus was then, you know?

And I said, God, if you're real,

I need you to show me a future

and a hope for my life,

'cause I just don't have one anymore.

I heard this voice in my head and it said,

"The kingdom of heaven is upon you."

That meant nothing to me.

That is some.

I didn't understand those words

in any way, shape, or form.

- [Narrator] He found a Bible

and started reading about Jesus

in the book of Matthew.

- Matthew three and two, it said,

"Repent, for the kingdomof heaven is upon you."

And I just froze.

And I was like, God is real.

He's talking to me.

But I was just like, God, I've messed up.

I've done bad things,

and I don't wanna do these things anymore,

and I need your help, andI need you to forgive me.

- [Narrator] In those moments,

John committed his life to Jesus Christ.

- I remember the feelingof just the weight.

I mean it was so heavy on my shoulders,

it'd probably been there my whole life,

of just having that be released from me.

It was the first time

that I felt significant,really significant.

I felt like I was important,

and I hadn't feltimportant in a long time.

And reading the words about Jesus,

that he died for me,

it made me feel so important.

And I was like, if this guy'swilling to do this for me,

I'm willing to live for him.

- [Narrator] In the coming months,

John read his Bibleand listened to sermons

as often as he could.

As he drew closer to God,

his desire to gamble faded until.

- God erased it.

And eventually, it wasn'tsomething that I did,

it was God just saying,

okay, I'm gonna take this off you.

You don't want it anymore.

I see that you don'twant it, now it's gone.

- [Narrator] John was ableto pay off his gambling debts

within a couple of years.

Today, he has a growing family,

and he helps other people

through his weekly radioprogram and podcasts.

And John is quick to share

that he knows he's a winner,

because he's loved by God.

- I remember getting called a loser

to my face on several occasions.

And having someone likeJesus in my life today,

it's like, truly being accepted

by someone with all your warts,

and all your struggles, and all your pain,

and all your bad mistakes,

and been saying you know what,

I'd still die for you,

I still love you, I still care for you.

You are important and significant to me

because I never felt important.

God can change everything.