(swing squeaking)

- [Michelle] I hatedmyself as a little girl,

I hated myself.

- [Narrator] No one eversuspected Michelle Glasgow

carried so much pain.

To her two older sistersand her Jamaican parents,

she was outgoing and kind.

But to some of the kids inher Toronto, Canada community,

she was the black girl who didn't belong.

- They would come aroundaround, circle me,

and make fun of my hair, youknow, tell me that I was ugly,

I used to get told thata lot when I was younger.

I used to tell the teachers about it,

but they wouldn't really,you know, do anything.

I would say, "God, I wish Iwould just get hit by a car",

and I would say,

"God, did you make me justso that I could suffer?"

- [Narrator] The bullyingleft her feeling vulnerable,

alone and angry.

- I would try to hide,

like I would eat my lunch in the washroom.

I would get in trouble sothat I would have detention

to not go out for recess.

I started getting reallytired of being rejected.

- [Narrator] In herteens, she became fixated

on the tough image and lifestyleportrayed in rap videos.

(rap music)

- People desired to be around them,

and that's what I didn't have.

- [Narrator] Then she enteredhigh school and womanhood.

Once the object of ridicule,

Michelle was now the object of attention.

She became a tease, wearingprovocative, revealing clothes.

- So that was how I startedto take back the power,

was I started to notice thatthat's how I got attention,

was by my looks.

I started felling a lotbetter about myself,

I started felling like I wasfinally taking, you know,

control and I was actually in charge now.

- [Narrator] With her new-found power,

she started getting intofights and hanging out

and smoking pot with ahardened drug dealer.

- I just thought that it was cool,

it was exactly what I wasseeing in the music videos.

I knew that people were scared of him.

I just thought that Iwas gonna get that same,

I guess, reputation.

- [Narrator] But Michellewas still in pain.

At 16 she dropped out and left home,

coping with alcohol and agrowing dependence on pot.

A year later at a party,Michelle was raped.

- I thought I had control,

and then I realized that I didn't.

- [Narrator] The old wounds now reopened,

and Michelle's heart grew colder.

- I felt like I had towork even harder now,

to be in control.

I couldn't let that happen again,

I couldn't let somebodymake me inferior again.

- [Narrator] Then in2010, Michelle, now 19,

met a guy in herneighborhood named Anthony.

They hung out, smoked a little pot,

and quickly became friends.

- He was always respectful,and just seemed to care.

It was just,

it was different than anythingI had experienced before.

- [Narrator] They started dating

and despite her growing attraction to him,

Michelle was determined to stay in control

and guard her heart.

- It was more like, okay,what can I get from him

before he tries to get something from me.

I guess I didn't wannalet go of that control

because I thought then I wasvulnerable for him to hurt me.

I actually started to really like him,

and then there was this fear that,

you know, he was gonna reject me too.

- [Narrator] Afraid of losing him,

she began going to churchwith him and his mom.

Then one Sunday,

Anthony prayed to acceptJesus into his heart.

It was a great moment in his life,

but for Michelle...

- I remember when we were driving home,

I just didn't talkbecause I thought, like,

I can't believe, you know,you chose Jesus over me,

like, so you're gonna get saved,

and, you know, if we die right now,

you're gonna go toheaven and you don't care

that I'm gonna go to hell,like, I was so angry at him.

- [Narrator] So the next Sundayshe prayed to accept Jesus,

but it was an empty gesturedriven by her fear of rejection.

Two months later, Michellesays, she got a word from God.

- Jesus showed me that Ihad never been rejected,

that He was actuallywith me the entire time.

All the times of feeling like I needed

to do stuff to not be rejected,

and to know that I did all these things

that was worthy of rejection,

His grace and His mercy was still on me.

- [Narrator] At once, alongwith the fear and anger,

God took away Michelle'sneed for drugs and alcohol.

- I didn't feel like I hadanything to escape from anymore.

I finally felt peace.

He was transforming my heart,

I was able to finally let go of all

the barriers I had put myself in,

and let go of wanting to be in control.

- [Narrator] Anthony andMichelle eventually married,

and are raising two children,

and clinging to a simple truth.

- That I am accepted and that I am loved.

(gentle music)

And I remember Jesus' sacrifice,

and I just realized that even if I was

the only person on earth,

he still would have died for me.