- If it feels like Americahas grown more divided,

it's because it has.

A new survey showsRepublicans and Democrats view

each other negatively and moreso since the 2016 election.

Republicans who give Democrats a negative

rating has risen 14 pointsoverall describing Democrats

as close-minded, unpatriotic, and immoral.

The trend is similar for Democrats,

75% of whom describethe GOP as close-minded.

They also call themimmoral and unintelligent.

One thing on which partisansee eye-to-eye, however,

their inability to agree on basic facts.

As you can imagine, inthat climate engaging

in tough conversations with people

of differing politicalviews isn't always easy

but the authors of the book

"I Think You're Wrong (But I'm Listening)"

say we should be doing just that.

- Yeah, like the title.

Recently, I sat down with Beth Silvers

and Sarah Stewart Holland to talk about

how to talk about thosedifficult conversations.

The tagline of your book is

"a guide to grace-filledpolitical conversations."

Those seem to be lackingin today's culture.

Beth, what does a grace-filled political

conversation look like today?

- We talked a lot about whether we wanted

to use the word grace because it's a word

that we use among ourselvesall the time at fancy politics.

A lot of people said,

"Why don't you just talk about civility?"

And we realized we're talking about

something deeper than civility.

This is not just let's be nice and kind

in these conversations.

Sometimes grace requiresa really firm stance.

What we wanted to convey with grace filled

political conversations are conversations

that connect you to your values

so that we make sure no matterwhat we're talking about,

how contentious it gets, weare fundamentally operating

out of a sense of ourmost treasured values.

- It's not about backing off your values

but having an understandingof the other person's values?

- Sometimes the conversationis gonna have to happen

before you can understandthe person's values.

But what we really want to push people

to do is represent their values

not just in their policy positions

but how they engage aboutthose policy positions,

how you treat the other person,

how you talk about the other person.

Those reflect your values as well.

- What are some very practicaltips you could give people?

- The first thing we want people

to remember is that thegoal is not to emerge

from the Thanksgiving tablewith draft legislation.

We come together and connect over politics

because they do offer us spaces to explore

how we live in community with each other

and that's relevant to our families.

We want people to have these conversations

but we just want them tounderstand the goal isn't

to convince anyone, youdon't need to walk away

all agreeing on who you're gonna vote for.

It should be a curious exploration

especially when you'vegrown up in the same house

with someone who sees thingsso differently than you.

It's great to say, "Iwonder how this happened?"

"We have so much incommon in our background,

"why do you think we seethis so differently?"

- Do you agree or disagreewith this statement?

Let's agree to disagree and move on.

- I hate that statement.

I hate that sound because it feels like

it's shutting down the conversation.

Beth was saying this just the other day.

The reason I think we bothhave such strong reactions,

it's because it soundslike we're done here,

we're not gonna talk about this

and that's the opposite of what we want.

What we want people to do is say,

"Okay, I think maybe it'sbecome too heated right now

"but I care about what you think

"and I want to continuethis conversation later.

"I want to continue totalk about the issues

"in our countries that matter,

"the values that are important to us,

"and maybe even becomebetter versed in why

"we disagree or maybeeven find some agreement."

- Why do you think the concept

of grace is such a hardconcept in today's culture?

There seems to be so little of it.

- Every message that weget is you are a consumer

of what's in front of you.

Especially through social media,

we're trained to give things a thumbs up

or a thumbs down immediately.

And grace asks us to hold alot of room around everything.

Even if I disagree, you're still a person

I value and respect in my life.

Even if I think thispolicy position is wrong,

I want to hear it out andsee what I can learn from it.

Grace has that element of we belong

and nothing else aroundus enforces that sense

that things belong evenif we don't love them.

- So what about the really sticky issues

that we are talking about today?

Whether it's gun violence or abortion

or really polarizing issues?

How do people navigatethose conversations?

- Sometimes it's best toapproach the conversation

like a reporter, like somebody

who's just curious to learn, to think,

"Where did you get that information from?

"Is there anything I could say

"that would help you seethis issue differently?"

Or sometimes what I like to dois go really, really far out.

How does this play historically?

Is this different thanhow somebody a hundred

years ago would have talked about it?

Just giving some bigger wider perspective

to the issues and notsee it as just a debate

where we have to convince one another.