(gentle music)

- [Narrator] Theirs was aphysical attraction at first.

But it didn't take longfor Duane and Latoya Perry

to realize they needed each other.

- She showed a faith in me

that kind of overrodemy lack of confidence.

- I had something that Iloved that loved me back

and that I was pouring my life into.

- [Narrator] When they met in 1992 he was

a 20 year old Army privatefrom south side Chicago,

a pastor's stepson, labeled a gifted child

who had strayed from hisChristian upbringing.

- People were like,

"Oh he's got a destiny on his life.

"He's gonna be a millionaireby the time he's 30."

And it was terrifying to me,

'cause what if I don't live up to it?

- [Narrator] At 17 Latoya,or Toy as he called her

had come from a broken home where she

was verbally and sexually abused.

- I was very hopeful.

I was building a futurethat I felt like was

different from the one that I came from.

- [Narrator] By the end offour years they were married,

had three children, andDuane had been discharged

from the Army.

Back at his parent's church Duane

worried what others thought of him.

- I've gone against my faith.

I've gone against theprojections of my life.

I'm having kids left and right.

I'm on welfare.

This is not where I'm supposed to be.

- [Narrator] So whenDuane signed on with the

Chicago Police Department in 1996

it was his chance to prove his worth.

Soon he was taking all the overtime

and side jobs he could get.

- I'm paying my tithes.

I'm paying my offerings.

I got the kids.

I go home.

I got to work.

As far as the church wasconcerned you're killing it.

- [Narrator] But forLatoya church and faith

weren't a priority.

She relied on her husbandand he was never home.

- But it was a very lonely time.

I didn't have like any friends.

I don't think I evershared it with anyone.

There was no one in the church that I felt

like I could talk to.

- [Narrator] So she gota job and the attention

of a male coworker.

- I was getting an emotionalconnection with another adult

in a way that I needed.

I felt like I needed it.

- [Narrator] Soon theemotional affair turned into

a physical one.

Immediately Toy realizedwhat she had done.

- I'm like, this is terrible.

Trying to build this family,

have these children, have my husband,

have the life that was in my head.

And now I've put myself in a situation

so I've just messed everything up.

- [Narrator] So afterbreaking off the affair

she confessed to Duane's mother

and gave her life to Christ.

- I pray, I say Lord if this is real,

what they say is real and you can do what

they said you can do, like,

I need you to show up.

There was a calm that did come over,

like an assurance.

I remember where I was and who I was.

- [Narrator] Then she called Duane at work

and told him about the affair.

Moments later he was at their door.

- I literally felt my heart break.

As soon as I saw her I feltsomething break in my chest.

And I just slumped and started crying.

- And to know that that was at my hands

and I did that to someone else

was painful beyond any other thing

anybody could have ever done to me

was to see the look on hisface when he looked at me.

- [Narrator] After the waveof emotions had settled

they talked, each admitting their part

in three struggling relations.

For the kids sake they agreed to let time

heal their marriage.

But now Duane had put up a wall between

him and Toy and him and God.

- When my husband was willing to allow

me into his space I was grateful for it,

but I could tell it was like a disconnect.

Because how do you goback to trust somebody

in that space.

- Everything was under my own steam,

under my own intellect,

under my own effort.

- [Narrator] Then in 2009Toy discovered an email

on Duane's computer that exposed he

was having an affair.

- I was devastated.

It crossed my mind, likemaybe I should leave.

- I really thought that this was probably

gonna be the end of my marriage.

And that's the truth.

And it wasn't about the other woman.

It was about the state that I was in.

- [Narrator] Again, theyboth had to look deep inside.

- I know my husband's heart.

I know the man that he isoutside of all of this.

I know what it's liketo be in a broken space.

- This situation was somethingthat was so much bigger

than me I could not handlethat I had to depend

on his totally.

- [Narrator] For Duaneit meant recommitting

his life to Christ.

- It was complete surrender.

It brought me to my knees.

This was an affront to whoI perceived myself to be.

- [Narrator] The couple got counseling

and fought for their marriage.

It took patience and forgiveness.

But in time God healed theirhearts and their marriage.

- Lot of arguments, lot of tears,

but we so desperately wanted more.

- Like you make that decision to forgive

and then all the rest of your decisions

have to line up with that.

So when I had an emotion or a feeling

that did not look like forgiveness

I had to fight that andchoose something different.

- [Narrator] Today the Perry'shave taken their struggles

and help others through live streaming

on Facebook's Marriage Impossible.

- A great big God seeing little ole me,

to know that even who I was or who I am,

'cause I'm still journeyingthrough this thing, loves me.

- We can't fully comeinto a walk with the Lord

until he takes us to the end of ourselves.

I was at the end of myself

and he was all I had left.