- [Dana] I had my masters degree.

I was exceptional whenit came to education.

I was fantastic when it came to

moving up the ranks in any profession

but when it came torelationships, I was a disaster.

- [Narrator] Dana Goodrem's life

was torn between two worlds.

Raised Catholic,

she understood what itmeant to be and do good.

But more than that,there was a deep longing

to be seen and affirmed,

especially by her alcoholic father.

- I constantly just tried to impress him.

I tried to get his approval.

I did well in school.

My sports were exceptional.

It wasn't enough.

- [Narrator] However,

it was one of her middleschool softball games

that served as a turningpoint in her heart,

when she decided to lookelsewhere for acceptance.

- He showed up so wasted

and I was pitching

and he stood behind the back stop.

- [Male] Come on, now.

- And he was rattling the cage.

And he was like, come on, Dana Jo.

Pitch the ball.

And he was cursing.

And I just thought about all the times

that I wished he was there

and now he's there and I wanted nothing

but for him to just leave.

Because of that, I rememberseeking approval elsewhere.

I was doing hard drugs at 14

and the drinking group is unfortunately

where I found my relationships with men.

- [Narrator] From her early teens

until her sophomore year of college,

Dana struggled with drugs and alcohol

but quit when she met a man

whom she eventually had herson with and then married.

Despite his verbal abuse and cheating,

she stayed with him for twoyears until they divorced.

- [Dana] This is the manwho's supposed to protect me,

protect my feelings, my confidence

and I completely

just shrunk into myself.

It was that feeling of rejection

and I went right back into panic mode.

- [Narrator] Even thoughher world was shaken,

Dana went back to collegeand received her masters,

which helped her land a good job.

She also landed in anotherabusive relationship

and had her daughter.

She left him after two years

and continued the cycle withyet another abusive man.

- I didn't care about anything.

I didn't think that lifeitself could get any worse.

- [Narrator] Unfortunately, it did.

Dana lost her job,

then shortly after ending what would be

her last toxic relationship,

she found out she was pregnant.

In desperation, she got an abortion.

- I knew at that moment,I was going to hell.

I think that people assumethat it is an easy decision

and it is not.

I was in a fog.

I was terrified.

- [Narrator] Jobless and at rock bottom,

she and her children were now

living in a one bedroom apartment

in a bad neighborhood, just surviving.

- I had applied to 152 jobs

and got rejected by every single one.

- [Narrator] Finally, Dana called her mom,

who shared how Jesus hadrecently changed her life.

Then she told Dana hecould do the same for her

and all she had to dowas lift up her hands

and give it all to God.

- I listened to my mom.

I got down on my knees,

I lifted up my hands to the ceiling

and I just said, "God,

"I know you are probably so mad at me.

"I cannot do this on my own anymore.

"I'm sorry, I just can't."

And I started crying.

Everything was just coming out.

I was crying about the abortion.

I was crying about the guys.

I was crying about my dad.

I was crying about my kids.

You know, the people thatI had let around them.

The situations that I had put them in.

And I just released it all.

I started to follow him that night.

I woke up the next day and

I got two phone calls with job offers.

The very next day, but bigger than that,

it was me knowing, one, that God heard me

and two, that He wasn't mad at me.

That I hadn't exceeded his Grace.

That I hadn't surpassed his Mercy.

That I wasn't going to hell

and that was bigger than any job offer.

And all of a sudden, my entire perspective

and outlook shifted

and I started to understandHis reckless pursuit for me.

- [Narrator] Dana began attending church,

got baptized and nowcontinually inspires others

with her testimony.

Through giving her life to the Lord,

she's come to understandthe deep affirming love

of her Father in Heaven

and that there's no need tosearch for any other approval

than His.

- Even though my earthlydad may have failed me,

my Father in Heaven waswith me the entire time.

I can stand here firm in my faith

and be able to speak to other women

and speak to childrenwho are in that place

and tell them confidently andboldly who their Father is,

even when their earthly parents fail them.