(light music)

_ [Narrator] Amy Valman always accepted

that her parents loved her

but when she was 11, they divorced

and Amy started believingshe was unwanted.

- They had me so young.

I mean I was the reason they got married.

I was a mistake because I had been born.

I believed that theywere getting a divorce

because of me.

Those lies started, the littleseeds were planted in my

my young self.

- [Narrator] Once faithful church members,

her parents stoppedgoing after the divorce.

But Amy still prayed and loved God.

- I was definitely just trying to do

what Jesus wanted me to do.

I just wanted to follow Him.

- [Narrator] Which is how Amylived throughout her teens.

Then in college, Amy fell in love

and asked God if the boyshe liked was the one.

- I heard this no

and I was mad.

I remember telling the LordI don't accept that answer.

- [Narrator] They married

and Amy began pulling away from God.

- I think when I made that first decision,

to say no to God,

other decisions came easier after that.

I didn't look so much for God's approval

as much as I did when I was younger.

I left God at church.

- [Narrator] Those firstyears they were happy.

Then they had two childrenjust 14 months apart.

As a 26-year old motherwith small children,

Amy felt her life start to unravel.

- I started to I think lose control.

- [Narrator] In early 1996,four years into their marriage,

Amy went to see a psychologist

who diagnosed her as bipolar.

- I could swing betweenperiods of highs and lows

rather quickly.

The highs are great.

You have all these energy andthe lows are equally extreme.

You don't have energy.

You don't have any desire to do anything.

- [Narrator] Medicationeventually stabilized her moods

but the stigma of being mentally ill

added to the self-doubt and rejection

Amy felt as a child.

- Now I'm mentally ill.

I was never gonna get better.

I'm unfit, I'm unqualified.

I'm not a good wife.

My husband had to live with all of that.

And that put a really bigstress on our marriage.

- [Narrator] Out ofcontrol spending and debt

forced them into bankruptcy.

Her husband coped by drinking

and staying out late most nights.

Amy felt helpless and cried out to God.

- And I remember standing in the kitchen,

answering calls from creditors,

balancing a checkbookthat had no money into it

and I finally knew

that I needed to do something different.

And I said "Lord, I can't do this anymore.

"I have made such a mess of my life.

"You need to change something.

"You need to break in becauseI can't do this anymore."

I didn't know what to doexcept take one step at a time

with Him holding my hand

and it really felt good.

- [Narrator] But hermarriage was too fractured.

Then in 2007, Amy andher husband divorced.

Being a single mom withmental issues was challenging

and those feelings ofbeing unloved increased.

- I didn't have suchextreme highs and lows

but I still questionedmyself on everything.

- [Narrator] Amy found a good church

and grew closer to God.

Two years later, she married a widower

thinking this new marriage wouldfill her need to feel loved

but Amy soon felt she was competing

with her husband'smemories of his late wife.

- I came in with rejection andissues from my first marriage

from the divorce,

feeling like I was damaged goods.

I was a mistake that Ishould have never been born.

My parents got married because of me.

They got divorced because of me.

That I was unqualifiedand unfit and mentally ill

and now I was never gonna be her.

He was never gonna love me enough.

- [Narrator] Seeing her desperation,

a friend invited Amy to a prayer meeting.

As the women started praying,

Amy began repentingfor things in her life.

- Every lie that I hadbelieved about myself,

we claimed the truth over that

and then got to my marriage.

And I even forgave his first wife

and I broke down not even knowing

that there was thisbitterness that I was carrying

against a woman that Ihad never even met before.

It was just Him renewingme, renewing my spirit,

renewing who I was, lettingme know how much He loved me.

When I walked out of there,

I felt (sighs)

like this new person.

- [Narrator] She felt God also healed her

from her bipolar disorder.

Amy weaned herself off her medication

and notified her doctor.

- He could see from visit after visit

that I was doing exceptionally well

and he said "Well, aslong as you keep this path

"that you're doing well,

"we won't have you take any medication."

And I just came on my

six year anniversary of being healed.

- [Narrator] Amy's transformationimproved her marriage

and she and her husbandare closer to each other

and to God.

Today, Amy loves to share

the abundant life that's available

when you learn to seeyourself the way God sees you.

- The Word says that Godhas come to give us life

and give it to us to the fullest.

I want people to grab on to that.

I want them to know that there's hope,

that they don't have to bestuck in that mental illness,

stuck in that place of brokenness,

stuck in that regret,

stuck in that depressionthat God gives us life,

God gives us purpose

and that's what He wants for us.

I know who I belong to.

I am the daughter of the Most High King.