- [Reporter] BrianJohnson is the co-founder

of Bethel Music, singer and song writer.

He thought he was having a heart attack

but it turned out to be a panic attack.

- When the ambulance gotthere, this one thought

crossed my mind, eventhough I was in the middle

of this thing, I walked over to my kids,

and I told my kids, I said, this is

I said, this is when God becomes real.

- [Reporter] In his book,When God Becomes Real,

Brian opens up abouthis battle with anxiety

and depression and shareshow God helped him find

freedom and how the Lordwants to do the same for you.

- Well, Brian Johnson is here with us now.

Brian, it's a pleasureto have you on the show.

- It's great to be here.

Thank you.

- Your battle with anxiety, actually began

when you were young.

- Yeah.

- Age seven, you started to notice things.

What was happening to you?

- As a seven year old, you have no idea,

right, what's happening.

I'm outside playing withlizards and the next day

I can't breathe, I'm having panic attacks.

And back then, I feltlike it was more spiritual

and that I was so petrifiedthat I had a demon.

And I'd seen deliverance and in our church

deliverance wasn't a big deal.

It wasn't screaming.

It was gentle.

But at the same time, I was so petrified

and I would spiral underthese panic attacks

and it lasted up until Iwas about 21 years old,

off and on.

I slept with my parents,almost every night

till I was 18.

That's how intense itwas in different seasons

which is crazy.

- Did you have it in yourhead that somehow a demon

was attacking you?

Did that make it worse?

- Of course it made it worse.

You know, the hair on the backof my neck would stand up.

But through it, my dadtaught me about the power

of praise and we would stayup sometimes all night,

and sometimes it wouldbreak in five minutes.

But every time, we wouldstart just singing,

you know, the old songs, We Exalt Thee,

all that stuff, I Love You Lord.

And every single time, it worked.

And so the priority of praise was there

as seven year old.

And I started playingguitar and then it kind of

all made sense.

- What is it about praise, that,

I call it the neglected weapon of warfare.

What is it about it that frees people,

that sets you free thatjust literally just

changes the atmosphere around you?

- It's a landscape changer.

You know that verse, God inhabitsthe praise of his people?

It's a real thing.

And it's not just a thought.

It's not mind over matter.

I think it's a real thing.

You know, the Jericho, the wall,

fell with that shout of praise.

And we've done ministrywhere you're just playing

in the streets overpeople and just watching

their world go into peace.

And I'm praying for agirl the other night.

He was really going through it and just

there's something about the praise

that bring the presence of God.

And when he's present, theword impossible doesn't exist.

And so it's really that simple.

It's hard to wrap our minds around it.

But it's a real thing.

- Now, you're the son of pastors and so,

what did that do to this equation?

- I never had a stigmaor a thing, being a PK.

My parents have been amazing.

They're like the perfect peak of pastors,

in that they guardedus but at the same time

they protected us.

They let us kind of get whateverkind of haircut we wanted.

They weren't religiousin a really good way.

We were very familiar withspirit stuff, you know,

familiar with people getting prayed for

that had demons or thatneeded healing or whatever.

So, I feel like it was a good thing

but at the same time,like you said before,

the thought that that could be me,

was always, it always tormented me a bit.

- But doesn't even the concept of perfect

create another problem that,if my parents are perfect,

then what's going on with me?

- Yeah, I think you probablyalways have that question

in the back of your mind, as a PK.

Maybe whether you admit it or not.

But when you get intothat swirl, there's a lot

of questions, too many questions.

That's part of the problem.

Your mind just races so.

That was definitely a thing.

- Okay.

Well, you've gotten out of the thing.

And it took you an ambulanceride to the hospital.

Now, take us to that moment.

What's going through your mind then?

- Yeah, 21 years old, to 36 years old,

I had none of that.

Well, obviously I didbefore 36, a few years.

It was just built up.

If you can think of a balloon, you know

and you don't let theair out of it, it'll pop.

And that was me.

I didn't even know it, didn't realize it.

I took my son to the river just,

my wife said, she couldtell I needed some rest.

Take him to the river, hang out.

And I started, my arms went numb.

The classic, am I having a heart attack?

I started getting really short of breath.

My mind's really fuzzyand I grabbed my son

and got out of there quick and raced home.

It got to the point where Icouldn't' hardly function,

which is really terrifying.

Like, I had no control.

And I got home, thinking,I'll just walk it off

and it got worse and worse.

And finally, the ambulancecame and I didn't know

if it was 15 minutes later,two hours or whatever,

my world was collapsing.

That's all I can say.

It was terrifying.

And they hooked me up to an IV

and basically was sedated from then.

I had a six month long periodwhere it was just hell.

It was a living hell, youknow, where every five minutes,

I was fighting off a panic attack.

So, it was an intenseseason where it's like

if God didn't step in, Idon't know what would be

going on right now, with my life.

- They sometimes callthat a cascade moment.

Was there a trigger that led to that?

- Yeah, there's a lot to triggers.

Finally, close to the end of it,

we were on a drive, me and my wife

and she just started going deep with me,

and asking me questions.

The Holy Spirit was sogracious and pinpointed

some things, which I didn't even know.

I didn't even know.

Like, unforgiveness in certain areas.

Things that she'd mentiona name and I'd be like,

okay, so I'd speak it outand by the end of that drive

was the first time in sixmonths where I thought

you say trigger, oh,here's what's going on.

And I had a glimpse of hope.

And the next morning, I got up at 5:15am

and I started reading my Bible

and then I never stopped.

And I felt like, from the Lord,

like some things needed to change.

And it's not like I was living in sin.

It wasn't like that.

It was just this thing,it was happening to me

and I didn't know why.

And I had my real God moment,about seven to 10 days in

of that, where I quit everything.

I had no other option.

It was either that or live on meds.

And I got such a senseof hope in about 10 days.

It was amazing.

God stepped in andwithin a month I was able

to get off all the meds.

And for one year after that,I had, there was no anxiety.

It was a surreal thing.

I was basically, God reachedin and just delivered me

and it was pretty amazing.

- Well, you say that but youtook some very concrete steps

to make sure that- 100%.

- he could reach in.

- Yeah I had to take some

serious steps.- There was a lot of,

what's going on, when you're having

these kinds of issues orany kind of mental issues.

And there's a wide variety,

is you're not taking that time,

either for yourself,self-care, or for God.

So what do you do now?

- Well, I tell you now,I keep close tabs on it,

because I lived that sothe memory's there, right.

And so if I start feeling something,

like it would be very easy forme to spiral back down there

'cause of the memory.

But I know now what to do.

So it's my mornings with God.

And I think the thatapproach of it's different

so it's not, I know when I'mapproaching my devotional time

to get something out of it to give

so I feel like that has to be separate.

Get up in the morning tojust spend time with God.

Maybe read a verse, that's it.

Just meditate on it foran hour and not doing it

for something else, 'causewhen I was broke down

to the point where it was like,I was on a deserted island

by myself, and it was me and God

and I don't know how long it was gonna be.

So I just go back to that place.

And worship has always been apart of that process as well.

I think, exposing it, havingcommunication with people

is really important.

Bringing it to the light,I think, is a big deal.

C.S. Lewis said, a relationship starts,

a friendship starts when Ilook at you and I say, me too.

And there's somethingabout, oh, I experience

that same thing.

And there's somethingin that that we need.

It's like we're lockingarms and I'm seeing

this anxiety thing, it's crazyright now, the depression.

And if we can expose itand lock arms together,

I feel like that's the first step.

At least it was for me.

- What would you tellsomebody watching right now

who's going through this?

What should they be doing?

- Well, I'd say, for sure,there's multiple things

you can do.

Like what you said, self care, stopping,

assessing, what are the triggers?

I think the God equation isalways a huge part of it.

I think getting alone with God and

sometimes it takes awhile to get ahold of God.

It's like grabbing, it's likethe woman through the crowd.

She had to work, shehad to take those steps

to get ahold of God andto get that promise.

It is not for the faint of heart.

It's hard.

It took everything in me.

It broke me down to thepoint where I felt like

I was at my end, like literally.

And it's that desperation before God.

The word and worship are huge.

I think that that verse that says

the word renews our mind,I think that's not just,

we get an encouraging wordand we talk ourselves into it.

I think there's actual healingwhen we just read the word.

- Well, it's life.

- Yeah.

- His words are life.

You've written a whole book about this.

When God Becomes Real.

And so here you are raisedin a Christian home,

raised in church, and you're saying

God just became real to me.

What happened?

- Well, obviously I've knowGod's real my whole life.

I believed but when you're in a,

it's kind of like, a friend of mine says,

our prayer life changesfrom a list of things,

versus, right now, andif I'm out in the ocean

drowning in the ocean,my prayer life changes.

In that the desperation,and only God was the one

that could save me and whenGod became my only option

it was the greatest gift of my life.

And so he became real in a whole new way

whereas no one on theplanet could talk me out

of what he did for me.

And there's that encounterwith God that I had

because of that.

- So tell, me about the encounter.

- I had several encounters during that,

when I started getting upearly and reading with God,

reading my Bible.

And one of them was Luke 7:47.

When I read the story ofthe woman at Jesus's feet,

and Jesus said, thereligious leaders are saying,

how could this womando this, this display?

What is this, this whatever?

And Jesus said, no you don't understand.

The reason she's able to love like this

is 'cause she's been forgiven of much.

And I read, I remember,

I'll get it together.

- [Gordon] It's alright.

- I remember reading thatverse and now remember

it's not like I had livedthis life of sin or anything,

but I remember reading that verse

and connecting with that verse in a way,

where I'm like, that's Iknow what that feels like,

to be so broken and weak.

And because of that,

those mornings became so important to me

and God would speak to me through the word

for what I needed for the day,

and like that daily bread thing.

And so what happened is I'd read something

and the same day, whatexactly what I read.

It got to the point where it was so,

kind of scary weird,but in an amazing way.

What happened duringthe day was what I read.

It is like the Holy Spirit was teaching me

not to think about two days or three days

or a week, but daily.

And it was in increments.

'Cause remember in thatstate, I was fighting back

panic attacks every five minutes.

So I needed that daily,that moment with God

to sustain me.

And it progressed into weeksand months and then so on.

But I had multiple of those times

where God was speaking really clear to me

and I would feel his presence.

And it was just, it's forpeople to experience that,

that's why I wrote thebook, to experience that.

That's the goal.

- Where you're poured out.

You're not going througha ritual any more.

- 100%.

- You're not even looking for an act

for God to do something, you're just,

please be with me now.

- Yeah, exactly.

- And forget everythingelse, I just need this.

I need you.

And you just get poured out.

You have a word for somebody.

You were praying today.

- Yeah, I did.

- So had your quiet time,you were going through this.

And God spoke to you.- Thinking about

thinking about this time today.

- And what'd you get?

- I feel like there's a girl,

either watching or herparents are watching.

Her name's Emily and she's 12 years old.

And she's in it.

She's in the panic, in thedepression, whatever it is.

And the word is obviously, identifying

that there's a girl andEmily who's 12 watching this.

But there's a reason and it's not God

doing it to her at all.

But there's an assignmentthat she has for her life.

She is gaining, she is gainingwhat she needs right now,

the authority, that connectionwith God through this

to propel her to her destinyand what he has for her.

Sometimes, when we don't get immediate

break through, God istraining us for battle

and I feel like Emily isbeing trained for battle.

Whoever Emily is, she's 12.

And also, there's Daniel and David

who are going throughit and God's with you

and you're gonna get through this.

And I think the biggest thingis this is not your end.

Daniel and David, you're not,this is not gonna be your

future, you're gonna get through this.

And then, Nathaniel,45, same thing for you.

You're in it deep, but God'sgonna get you out of this.

And with all these words, it's a testimony

to other people.

It's what we're doing.

We climb the hill, wereach down and we help

others come up.

And, so.

- Alright.

If you're watching and you're wondering

why would God let somethinghappen to a 12 year old?

Well, the answer is found in scripture.

David was schooled in the wilderness.

He was knocking off lionsand bears in the wilderness

at age 12.

He was anointed to be king at age 14.

He fought Goliath at age 15.

So if God's preparing you for a lifetime

of service to him, lifetime for his glory,

pay attention to it.

If you want more of Brian's story,

check out his book, when God Becomes Real.

Copies are available nationwide.

And if you're struggling with anxiety,

we have a free pamphlet for you.

It's called Overcoming Anxiety.

It's yours for free, allyou have to do is call us.