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'I Wasn't Given the Spirit of Fear': How American Idol Jasmine Murray Overcame Panic Attacks

'I Wasn't Given the Spirit of Fear': How American Idol Jasmine Murray Overcame Panic Attacks Read Transcript


♪ I wake up ♪

♪ I feel it ♪

♪ Those fears are back again ♪

♪ Can't shake 'em ♪

♪ Can't make 'em ♪

♪ Ever fade, ever end ♪

- So you complete on American Idol.

You complete in the Miss AmericaPageant, do well on both,

and then I learn from your song

that you struggle withanxiety, I'm like how?

♪ Everything I've been fighting against ♪

♪ I'm gonna lift it up ♪

- I can remember growing up and it wasn't

heavy anxiety growing up, it was just

I used to worry a lot here and there

and then it started to reallyheighten the last few years

to where I was actuallyhaving panic attacks

and just feeling like I was kind of

shutting myself out from people,

and I was just starting tonotice a difference in myself.

So, you know, with all of those different

experiences and opportunities,

I've always felt reallycomfortable on stage.

I just love to sing.

I love music and that's my passion.

So I feel like that's whereI really like come alive

and feel like fearless.

- So literally you are driving to go to a

song writing session andare crippled with anxiety

and a panic attack.

♪ I want to be fearless ♪

♪ No holding back ♪

♪ No backing down ♪

♪ Fearless ♪

- I'm on my way to my session

and I had no idea what Iwas going to write that day,

but I knew who I was writing with

and I was kind of rushing that morning

and I just remember having a panic attack.

I'm almost there, I was almost there

and literally just started to feel like

I couldn't breath andmy stomach was hurting

and just feeling totally out of control.

And so, it was really really scary

because that was kindof the beginning of me

going through this anxiety stuff

and the panic attacks and everything.

So, I really didn't understand it fully

and hadn't shared withwith a lot of people.

So, I was like oh my gosh,let me get myself together.

And, I did.

I walked into the sessions and, you know,

one of the producers was like

what do you want to write about today?

And so I'm like I kind ofwant to write about fear.

Like, I knew it was something on my heart

because it was heavy in mylife right at that moment

and they just started praying for me

and lifted my up with scripture.

And, we ended up writingFearless that day.

And so, it's just a declaration for me

and so many other people, I believe,

who struggle with anxietyor fear of whatever it is,

to know they don't have tobe chained to this struggle,

and to know they are not alone,

that they're not the onlyones going through it,

but God doesn't want us tolive our lives that way.

He wants us to live bold and unafriad.

- That's beautiful.

Now, you've got an entire new project,

of course the world is enjoying Fearless,

but those of us who follow you,

how would you describe this project?

- So this is my first album and honestly,

the last two and half years,since I moved to Nashville,

we have just been writingconstantly, as much as possible.

So, I feel like the Lord just gave me

so many different subjects to talk about.

He gave me so many different testimonies

from my personal experience,from people in the room

I was writing with thatjust poured into these songs

and into these sessions.

So, a lot of hard work has gone into it,

but a lot of, I feel like,hearts have gone into it.

And so, my heart is in this album.

You know, from Fearless to Who You Love,

all of these songs arevery vulnerable for me

because I talk about mystruggles with anxiety.

I talk about giving control to God

and just surrendering that to him

because sometimes ashumans we like to do things

our way and we think that we can,

and God is saying "No,that is not how life goes,

I'm in control."

- If you could talk tothe younger Jasmine,

what would you tell her about the journey?

What advice would you give her?

- You know I think I would tell her

that you are enough.

Because, I know for a fact

that's something I've struggled with,

just self worth and understanding

where my worth comes from.

It's from God.

You know, it's not fromanything that I can do or say

or anything, it's from Him.

He paid a price for all of us.

So, I think I wouldtell her you are enough,

that you don't have tostrive to be anything

other than who you already are.

Which is, a daughter of the King,

and you are a servant for God.

And so, to just rest in that

and to live your life knowing that,

and not to try to beanything other than that.

♪ No other love ♪

♪ No other love ♪

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