Author Andy Crouch discusses his new book, The Tech-Wise Family, and how you can take every day steps to put technology in its proper place in your life.
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[MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, here's a
novel idea for you.
At night, put your smart
phone and laptop to bed
before you go to bed.
And in the morning, you
wake up before they wake up.
That's just one
way to break free
from the bondage of technology.
Take a look.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
NARRATOR: Andy Crouch fell
in love with computers
when his dad brought
one home in the '70s.
Since then, Andy has seen
dependence on electronics rise
to alarming rates,
almost overnight.
He says, "there's a proper
place for devices in our lives,
but if we don't
learn to put limits
on all forms of
technology, we'll
miss out on the
best parts of life."
In his book, "The
Tech-Wise Family,"
Andy challenges us to reduce
our usage or unplug our screens.
And offers everyday steps
for balancing real life
in a cyber world.
And please welcome to the
"700 Club," Andy Crouch.
Andy, it's very
nice to meet you.
Great to be with you.
This is a very
controversial subject.
Why is it wrong to be addicted
to our devices, first of all?
Well, I think a lot of
people sense something
has gone a little bit wrong.
We find ourselves
drawn to these things,
and I'm not just
talking about kids,
I often hear parents
complain about their kids
being on their phones,
which really means
looking at a glowing rectangle.
Actually, I see just as many
parents on their phones.
And the only reason
that it's a problem,
is when it prevents us from
having the real life we were
meant to have with each other.
This friend of mine sent
me a photo of her husband
and her two sons
somewhere out in public,
they're all just like this.
They're all just looking
down at their phone.
She says, what's wrong
with this picture?
And I think this is
what we're all asking.
We bought these
things for ourselves,
and for our children,
and our grandchildren,
because they make life
easier, in many ways,
but they're actually making
some things harder, as well.
It's making parenting
harder, isn't it?
Tell us how.
How is it?
So we did some
research for this book
and we asked parents, what
makes parenting difficult?
And the number one answer
was, managing technology.
And it's basically--
well, it's partly
because every other
challenge we have as parents,
we were able to go to our
own parents or grandparents
and say, how did you handle
this when I was a child?
But none of us
grew up with this.
And our parents didn't
grow up with it.
So we are all figuring
out as we go along,
how to have a healthy
relationship with technology
as family.
Let's talk about
your own family.
You have a lovely
wife, two children.
Catherine is my wife.
And then, Timothy and
Amy, started out as kids,
but now they're teenagers.
There we all are.
We all have glasses.
It's like a Christmas
fireplace night.
That'd be a good
Christmas card photo.
That's what we used it for.
And you don't see the devices.
What are you doing,
Andy, in your own family
to limit the use of devices
and become more of a family?
The most important
choice we make
was to actually take
breaks, and so we think
the biblical idea of
Sabbath, of one day a week,
is meant to apply
to all these things.
So one day a week--
for us, it's Sunday--
none of the devices are on.
And then, actually one hour
a day and one week a year.
So one hour a day-- for us,
that's dinnertime-- one day
a week-- for us, that's
Sunday-- and one week a year,
we go on a family vacation,
and we turn it all off.
So Sunday, I love that idea,
by the way, but Mondays come
and what if there's
an emergency at work?
What if your boss is trying
to get a hold of you?
How do you really say no?
How do you not go look at it?
So it's incredibly
hard when you start.
The first time I
turned off my email
for a whole week of vacation,
I, like you I'm sure,
do a lot of my work
through email, I thought,
how can I do this?
But actually, if you keep
doing that discipline,
it becomes easier and easier.
And people learn that
there are other ways
to get in touch of
it's really essential.
And we're not legalistic about
it, that's not the point.
But it is to say,
one day a week,
let's just have a circuit
breaker that we turn off.
And we actually do this even for
the lights in our dining room,
we turn those off at dinner
time and light candles.
I love that.
And dinner by
candlelight is awesome.
The kids love it.
The parents love it.
My wife thinks I look
younger and more attractive.
I would like a candlelight
dinner, just FYI.
Every night.
So I like to hike and there
is one place in Virginia
where I go and you can't get
cell service and it's so great.
And sometimes I spend
the night up there
so I actually
really enjoy, that's
a little break from that.
But there aren't that many
places that have that option.
You really have to
turn it off yourself.
And you say, one thing to
do is the one hour a day,
I'm finding in my own life,
if I get home from work
as I've been on computers
and phones all day,
sometimes I take like maybe
two or three hour break.
And then when I come
back to the phone,
it's kind of fun after that.
We need these rhythms.
Our devices are
designed to work 24/7,
but we're not
designed to do that.
We're designed to have rhythms
of work and rest, sleep
and wake.
So I think building
those rhythms in,
is the way to have a
healthy relationship with it
rather than be
feeling like we're
over connected and
actually, disconnected
from people and from
the creation around us.
What about when
we're in our cars?
You say that we're
not making good use
of our time in our cars.
I think especially as family--
and it's true whether your
parents or grandparents--
when you're driving
somewhere with other people,
this is an amazing
opportunity for conversation.
But next time you're
on the highway,
if you just look at what
people are doing in their cars,
everybody has their
little white earbuds in.
Everyone's on their own device.
And we often do this to
make our own lives easier.
As parents, give the
kids something to do.
But then, you're
missing out actually
on creating fun together.
Having great
conversations together.
So in our family, we decided
car time is conversation time.
And we actually won't
have our earbuds in,
and we won't have the screens
glowing in the back seat.
We're going to find a
way to stay engaged.
And I ended up having some
of the best conversations
with my kids in their
teenage years in the car,
which I never expected.
But hey, we're all really close
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Exactly.
And sometimes just light
talk, but sometimes, you
get to the really deep
important conversations that
might not happen anywhere else.
Well, I know you
write in your book--
which, by the way, is called
"The Tech-Wise Family,
Everyday Steps for Putting
Technology in Its Proper
Place"--
I love orange so
it looks like this.
So you say that
if you can, don't
let your kids have screens
before their double digits,
before their 10th
birthday at home.
Of course, at school--
are you talking about
at home or school?
Well, I think children
under the age of 10,
are made to engage the
world in three dimensions
with their whole bodies.
Try to get a child
to sit still, they're
not designed to do that.
And so, actually, I'd say at
school, at home, anywhere,
I would ideally like to see
minimal screens for children.
Even at the age of
10, I don't think
that means you hand them a
smartphone with unlimited data.
You start at that point,
to begin to introduce--
there's ways this can be
useful in middle school
and high school.
But we really decided,
we wanted our kids
engaged in the real world and in
really creative play together.
So instead of a TV or screens
for them, we had a craft table
and we had instruments for
them to play and learn.
It's much better for children's
learning early on to not
have those screens.
I know.
I have a niece and
nephew that are below 10,
and sometimes, it
would be hard to have
a conversation with them
because they just would not want
to look up from that screen.
Exactly.
But they're very well-rounded
and very athletic, too.
So I guess my sister's
doing a good job.
Well, an estimated 30%
of all internet traffic
is pornography, Andy.
How can we best protect
ourselves and our families
from becoming enslaved by this?
Well, this is one reason we
have no phones in the bedroom,
no screens in the
bedroom policy for kids
and parents in our
family, and many
of the families I know
that I really believe
are doing this well.
And that's just to
give us minimal support
to our own self-control,
but the reality
is, kids don't have
much self-control.
And it's not just that
they're going and consuming
pornography made
by others, they're
actually pressured to
create sexualized images.
And so, basically, we've got
to be a lot more involved
in each other's lives.
The opposite of
addiction is connection,
and so, all these things that
are potentially addictive,
the real cure for it is
not a bunch of rules,
it's deeper connections
with each other.
And it's us knowing what's
on our kids devices.
A friend of mine
says to his sons--
he has four middle
school age sons--
he says, I'm going to know
everything that's on your phone
because I'm your dad.
And until you leave
my house, it's my job.
And that's actually a
healthy way to parent.
Wonderful.
This is such a great topic.
And Andy's book is called,
"The Tech-Wise Family, Everyday
Steps for Putting Technology
in its Proper Place,"
and it's available nationwide
wherever books are sold.
Plus, for all you
Facebook lovers,
we have a social exclusive
interview with Andy.
To watch that, just go
to facebook.com/700club.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Andy, thank you for
being brave, this
is a brave book to
write right now.
I think people need it.
Thank you, Wendy.
I need it.
God bless you.
Thank you.
God bless you.