JOSHUA: I was asking like, why is this happening?

Or did I do something?

Was it my fault?

NARRATOR: Joshua was 10 when his parents divorced.

He was an only child and life had

been almost perfect until then.

JOSHUA: I had a really good relationship with my father

and my mother growing up.

We did a lot of things together.

We just had a good family.

I was very happy.

They were very protective over me as a kid.

NARRATOR: After the divorce Joshua

ended up living with his dad, and his attachment to him

grew stronger.

I think my dad definitely gave me the attention

that I needed as a kid growing up

because he tried to pour into my life

to make sure he supported me, and was there for me,

in every way.

NARRATOR: That changed when his dad married

a woman who also had a son.

No longer the center of his dad's affection,

Joshua became rebellious, and found companionship elsewhere.

JOSHUA: During my middle school and high school years,

what led me into homosexuality was just

the point of really just feeling rejected, feeling that missing

relationship with my father that I really wanted,

that I really needed.

I tried to mess around with guys to try

to find love and fulfillment where I was broken

and where I felt rejected.

And that just caused me to hang out

with a lot of the wrong people.

NARRATOR: By high school, he was smoking pot and having

numerous homosexual encounters.

JOSHUA: It was more just partying, the drug lifestyle,

living like a lifestyle of homosexuality

to try to find love and fulfillment where I was broken

and where I felt rejected.

NARRATOR: After high school Joshua

went to a community college but dropped out after a year.

Then his dad found out his son was a homosexual

and kicked him out of the house.

JOSHUA: And that, in turn, made my father like reject me.

There was a lot of wounds, and a lot of scars there,

and a lot of rejection.

So I thought I could turn to other things

to try to erase that part of my life,

to try to find this love where I was broken

and where I was rejected.

NARRATOR: Joshua went to live with his mom who had remarried

and become a Christian.

Although he kept his sexuality hidden from her,

she knew he needed God's help.

He was doing the partying thing

and just didn't know how much in depth

that was going on in his life.

All I could do is pray for him, and for the Lord

to protect him, and try to keep him out

of those kind of things.

NARRATOR: Seeking acceptance Joshua moved to a bigger city

so he could openly live a gay lifestyle.

There were times where I did feel that it was wrong

and that I shouldn't be doing these things,

but I just continued to go down that pathway

because it was giving me this fulfillment and this hunger

for something where I felt broken.

NARRATOR: A path that over the next two years

led Joshua to a life of unbridled promiscuity

and an insatiable addiction to cocaine.

It was all I thought about.

I would give my body like to people

so that I could try to find money to be

able to support my drug habit.

And I was trying to find all this love,

and this temporary fulfillment, in these things that

meant nothing to me.

I had nothing going for me.

I gave up hope.

NARRATOR: But his mom never gave up asking God to help her son.

Praying for the Lord to keep His protection on him,

and to lead him, and guide him, and to convict his heart.

And I've even prayed for the Lord

to make him uncomfortable if he had to so that he

would give life to Jesus.

NARRATOR: Then in 2009 Joshua learned

that he was HIV positive.

JOSHUA: And I felt like this is the end of my life.

I don't know what this is.

I don't understand what HIV is, but I

know that, like I've been marked with something that has changed

the course of my life.

I was just completely broken, completely hopeless.

I didn't know what to do.

NARRATOR: Joshua reached out to his mom telling her everything

and asking for help.

Without hesitation she welcomed him into her home.

Well, it's not anything a mother would

want to hear but you know that's your child, and so no matter

what, you stick by your child, and you support them,

and you love them.

It made me feel great to be accepted by my mother

and to see that she was there even

through this whole lifestyle of darkness and brokenness.

Even though I felt dirty and I felt shameful

that my mother said, hey, I love you,

and I'm going to accept you where you're at.

NARRATOR: But there was one condition

that Joshua go to church with her.

Again, he was welcomed with open arms.

And they were like hey, we love you.

We support you and we're here to pray for you in any way

that we can.

NARRATOR: Not long after a message

he heard at a revival made him finally

realize he needed God's love and forgiveness.

I just began to break.

And my heart, every part of me, just began to break open.

And I was just weeping, and weeping, and I was like, God,

I need you.

I need you in my life more than ever right now, at this moment.

I felt an overwhelming love of the Father,

of Jesus, that I had never felt in my life.

I felt all the shame.

I felt all the guilt. I felt everything

that was connected to this lifestyle

that I was living just be erased in a moment.

I felt the love of the Father come in and say, you're new.

You're made new.

You're mine.

And I just accepted Jesus.

I accepted him into my life and he shifted every part

of my life in that moment.

NARRATOR: As Joshua focused on living for Christ

he overcame his addictions and homosexual desires.

Today he is able to control his HIV with medication

and live a normal life.

Joshua's dad also gave his life to Christ

paving the way to forgiveness and reconciliation.

JOSHUA'S MOTHER: I believe in the power of prayer.

And if you just keep fervently praying

and He will answer your prayers.

If you are faithful to Him, He will be faithful to you.

NARRATOR: Eventually, Joshua went to Bible college

and earned a degree in worship and music.

He's currently pursuing his master's degree

in practical theology.

As a mother, to see where God has brought Joshua,

and where God has brought him to,

is totally inspiring and amazing.

It's very amazing.

And I just thank God for keeping his hand on him.

The past doesn't define me anymore.

And when you come to Christ you are a new creation in Him

and he wipes away everything and gives you a clean slate.

Don't give up hope.

Don't give up faith.

Even in brokenness and in darkness,

where you feel like you're completely lost and empty,

Christ can meet you right where you are at.

He can meet you in a moment and in an instant that

can change your life.