I remember what my dad weighed,

and I think at the time it was like 194 and 195,

and I just wanted to weigh less than him.

I don't think that ever happened in my adult life, never.

Growing up, I was taller than most of the boys

in school, which meant I got teased.

There was one insensitive comment

that I let define me for decades.

I remember exactly where I was standing in the classroom,

and he called me Big Bertha.

And I remember being devastated.

I interpreted it as, you're not the tallest one in the class,

you're the fattest one in the class.

I was brought up in a very loving Christian family.

But it never occurred to me that God could help.

I prayed, and I did what all good Christian girls do.

Your parents teach you the Lord's Prayer, the Apostles'

Creed, you know, but I didn't have

a relationship with the Lord.

Nor in that naive state thought he could fix this.

I battled my way through high school and college,

and tried everything to fix it.

But no diet pill, gimmick, or even plastic surgery

fixed the problem.

I probably thought I was unlovable.

Not necessarily to God, but to man,

and having that thought in the back of my head

is probably what led me down the road to my first marriage.

Hindsight, I see how the Lord was

trying to stop that marriage.

Oh, no, I got this.

I can make this marriage work.

I can fix him.

I me.

But in time, it became clear that I couldn't fix it,

and I just felt like a complete failure as a person.

I was married, had the twins, had Carter, my youngest,

but my marriage was dead.

I kept up a good front, but in my early 30s,

the bottom just fell out of my life.

I lost my very high-paying executive

job because of a buyout.

I lost my marriage, and then my dad horrifically,

tragically died.

And in that time, I had nothing else to hold on to other

than this God I had believed in for 30 years.

The deeper need was a true relationship with the Lord,

completely.

I spent time developing that relationship like never before.

I said, OK, You are real.

And I want to live the rest of my life

feeling you and hearing you.

And so that was a line in the sand.

You're in control-- takeover.

He graciously proved that He could

take whatever mess I had put myself into

and provide a way out.

And all I needed to do was just ask for help.

Several years later, I met and married Stephen, a government

contractor with four kids.

I was growing greatly in my faith,

but the struggle with my weight was far from over.

I'm the mom to seven kids now, and I fell flat on my face.

And so I shut down.

I would go to work during the day.

I would come home to a house that had literally

been trashed by seven children.

And to be honest, my dinner consisted

of either a bottle of wine or four beers.

So it happened gradually.

And I blew up to 250 pounds.

I was undone.

And I finally asked God to help me get healthy.

I vividly remember thinking, you are 40 years old.

This has to stop.

I pulled back on the alcohol.

I still didn't know how to fuel my body,

I didn't know what foods to eat.

And I heard the Holy Spirit say, what do you do now, Martha?

Are you going to trust me now?

And I just, again, had this sixth sense

that He was going to point me in some direction, and He did.

My first step was to join a gym and start exercising.

Next, I read everything I could find on nutrition.

In the first 10 months, I lost 50 pounds.

I got the discipline from the Lord,

because I had never had the discipline before.

And as I was getting smaller on the outside,

I was growing stronger on the inside.

I became a better mother.

Your confidence goes up.

Your outlook on life goes up.

And the authentic Martha was finally blooming.

You got this!

Last one in.

I eventually opened my own gym, lost 100 pounds,

and became a fitness and nutrition coach.

Now my greatest joy is leading others

to find their help in God, too.

Stop ignoring him and thinking you

can fix everything by yourself.

He is a God who will take your biggest mess.

He will take your mess, and turn it

into the most beautiful, beautiful story.