VICTORIA: I was brought up to feel

like we were not important.

The family wasn't important.

The wife wasn't important.

The children were not important.

NARRATOR: Victoria's childhood memories

are of an alcoholic father who neglected and abused his eight

children and their mother.

My dad would take his paycheck and he

would use it for alcohol, for his horses, for his races.

This made me feel about myself very sad, very hurt,

very lonely.

NARRATOR: Those years shaped Victoria's view

of family and herself.

I was told for so many years by my dad

that I was worthless, that I was no good.

I thought I was stupid.

I did not like myself very much at all.

NARRATOR: Victoria's parents divorced when she was 16,

and her mom and siblings moved to Oceanside, California.

There she found a new family--

a group of teenagers into drinking and drugs.

VICTORIA: Drugs made me like myself.

Hanging out made me like myself.

I was trying to escape everything

I had known up until this point--

who I was, what I was.

I was trying to escape all those sad, bad memories.

NARRATOR: Later, in her early 20s,

Victoria moved in with a man who made her feel special.

She stopped partying and had two daughters.

It wasn't perfect, but it was something.

The love that I was looking for, I figured I found it.

And I created this family and created this home.

NARRATOR: That is, until she caught him with another woman.

First I was betrayed by my dad.

Now I felt betrayed by this man in my life.

My heart had been shattered into a million pieces.

I'm not good enough.

NARRATOR: Victoria felt she had one place to go.

VICTORIA: Back to what I knew, and that was,

let's get rid of some pain.

Let's get rid of the heartache.

Let's get rid of everything that's gone wrong.

NARRATOR: For the next two years,

Victoria partied and tried to leave her past behind.

But she still felt unfulfilled.

Growing up, she had often heard her mom pray.

VICTORIA: Standing in my bedroom window, and it was raining,

and I just remember that.

And I started crying.

And I started asking God to help me.

NARRATOR: She changed her lifestyle,

and for the first time in her life, she was happy.

She grew closer to God.

But even that relationship felt incomplete.

It was the feeling of something's missing,

it's not there, I don't know what it is,

I can't put my finger on it.

But it's a need that I'm striving for.

NARRATOR: Victoria started going to church

and learning that what she had been missing

was a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Then one night, she stumbled upon the 700 Club.

Gordon Robertson was talking about Jesus,

and asked viewers to pray.

Victoria joined in, and asked Christ to come into her life.

VICTORIA: I got this very tingling feeling in my feet.

And then it came higher, and higher,

and it got right here to my chest.

And I thought, oh my gosh, what is this?

What's going on?

And it went up, and went up, and as soon

as it got to the top of my head, it just--

everything exploded.

It was just like all of a sudden,

I'm in this white, pure white light.

And it's just everywhere.

NARRATOR: There was still one thing left to do.

I heard this voice say to me, can you forgive?

And I very slowly turned my head to the right,

and I looked, and not more than two, three feet from me,

Jesus was standing there.

And I was looking at Him.

And He said, for the second time, can you forgive?

And then I said again, I can forgive.

And right then, it's like (EXHALES) rockets

going through me.

It was like all these colors of the rainbow

were just embracing me, and going through me,

and shooting through me.

And all these feelings of joy, and beauty,

and grace, and love.

NARRATOR: Victoria was finally free

of her past and the hatred she'd carried so many years.

VICTORIA: I found it everything I

was looking for in that moment.

He was everything I was looking for.

He was everything that was missing.

NARRATOR: God restored Victoria's relationship

with her father and the father of her two daughters.

VICTORIA: Oh, Jesus is everything to me.

He is the love of my life.

He is my rock.

Give him a mustard seed of a chance,

and he will show you things, he will

take you places, he will transform your life like you

have never, ever--

no, like you wouldn't believe.