MERARI RODRIGUEZ: They had put a name on me called Black Widow.

The black widow actually lures her mate.

And actually after she is done with her mating,

then she kills him--

she destroys him.

And that's exactly what I was doing.

NARRATOR: Merari Rodriguez grew up in a broken home.

Her father left the family when she was six

and her mother had to work several jobs,

leaving her in the care of a babysitter.

She was married to a police officer

and the words he would use were very controlling.

I remember him putting such fear in me

and I felt like I belonged to him is pretty much

the message he was telling me.

And I felt like then it was my fault and the hatred for myself

began to build.

NARRATOR: The sexual abuse continued for a year

before Merari's mother noticed a change in her daughter's

behavior and intervened.

But when Merari was 11, it happened again.

This time it was a friend of the family.

He was confronted, and I was brought into the confrontation.

And he opened the Bible, and he put his hand on the Bible.

And he swore.

And I just remember looking at the Bible.

And I just remember the choice--

God does not exist.

And I decided I will never in my life

want to hear God, the name of God, or anything about God

ever.

NARRATOR: Merari became rebellious-- drinking,

smoking pot, and skipping school.

She endured a series of abusive relationships

and had three children while still a teenager.

I felt like I became a label.

I felt like I had written all over myself, I'm fatherless,

I'm alone, and I have no protection,

so come and hurt me, use me, abuse me--

because it just continued to happen everywhere I went.

NARRATOR: When she was 18, Merari

felt she had found the answer to her problems

when she was introduced to witchcraft

and the goth subculture.

They seemed so together and they kept always

talking about power and how you can have power now

to control someone else.

And all my life I was controlled and now I wanted to control.

NARRATOR: She was baptized as a witch and given a special name.

She began to cast spells to control those around her.

I just had the spirit of promiscuity and sensual over me

that I can have anyone that I wanted.

And I didn't want anything with them--

I just wanted to control them.

I felt like I can now protect myself--

I felt like I can protect myself now from men like that

and from anyone else that would hurt me.

NARRATOR: Merari continued to advance in the occult.

But when the other witches wanted

to initiate her children, she decided to break away.

She moved out of town to make a fresh start.

She thought she had left it all behind, but one night at home

she had a terrifying vision.

I see this beast just standing in my yard.

And it was a form of a lion, but he was awful looking.

And I looked and he opens his mouth.

And I noticed someone is in his mouth and so I yell out,

oh my God, help!

He's got someone in his mouth!

And when he turned the person-- right before he's going

to swallow--

I looked and I saw it was me.

And I saw myself and he began to squeeze.

And I can hear my bones cracking and I can

hear myself gasping for air.

And suddenly-- right before--

I can see blood just gush out of my mouth.

And all I could do was [INHALES].

And I hear a voice.

And He said, Merari, I've been calling you for a long time.

If you don't come to me now, he's going to kill you.

And he said it one more time, but this time he said daughter.

And all I remember was just falling on my face

and just saying, God.

And I remember saying, Lord-- and I don't know why,

I've never used that expression in my whole life--

and I said, Lord, please don't let me die.

I receive you--

I don't know you and I'm sorry.

But thank you for showing me where I was.

And I just woke up--

my spirit hit my body and I knew that I just

had the most incredible encounter with my Creator

and that He called me daughter--

He was my Father.

He was my Father.

I never head a man say daughter.

NARRATOR: Merari surrendered her life to Christ that night.

MERARI RODRIGUEZ: I felt different--

I just felt clean.

I felt something I've never in my life.

God just came for me and when I learned some of the scriptures,

I knew with that he left the 99 for me.

I was that one, and it's just amazing,

but I knew I was different.

I felt renewed, I felt free.

NARRATOR: With the help of a friend, Merari found a church

and was baptized a Christian.

She renounced her past involvement in the occult

and has traveled overseas to share

the good news of Jesus Christ.

Her children are now grown, and she has married and mentors

young women like herself, pointing them to the Savior who

has taught her how to trust.

I have no control.

It's amazing how I had to relent everything.

He allowed me for a little while to have control

so he can teach me what was the different.

And so I learned and He taught me little by little

how to be a daughter, how to surrender, how to listen,

how to discern.

It was just amazing how He's so patient

because He allowed me to go through the process

and helped me through my own deliverance.

I learned that God was my true Father.

And there's no one that can replace Him,

and He fulfilled me.