Author Mark Batterson discusses how to disciple men with the virtues of tough love, willpower, clear vision, and moral courage.
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Mark Batterson is the first to
admit he lacks the critical man
skills.
He says he gets lost if he needs
to put together anything that
requires more than two steps.
Me, too.
Well when he's had to
rough it in nature,
he made sure to even bring
an inflatable mattress
to that experience.
But Mark says manhood is
more than just a skill set.
It's a role that
needs to be played.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
NARRATOR: The "New York Times'"
bestselling author and pastor
Mark Batterson says men and boys
are confused about their roles,
responsibilities,
and relationships,
and the very reason
God made them men.
We live in a culture
that in many ways
has redefined manhood,
devalued manhood.
So we settle for
something far less
than God originally intended.
NARRATOR: Mark's latest
book, "Play the Man,"
tells guys how they can become
the man God created them to be,
no matter how they
were raised, so they
can teach the next generation
about life and love.
Mark Batterson is back
with us on "The 700 Club,"
and we welcome you.
It's good to have
you back again.
Thank you, Terry.
It's always a joy.
Well you've got this
new book, "Play the Man."
What does real
manhood look like?
Like How do you define that?
Yeah.
Well I think we have to
go back to the beginning
and realize that God did
create us male and female.
So it's not just a good idea.
It's a God idea.
TERRY MEEUWSEN: It's a God idea.
I think it's something
that we should celebrate.
And by the way, I
think the greatest gift
a man can give a woman is to be
a man of God, and vice versa.
And then we look to
the New Testament.
And I think Jesus is the
standard, the example of what
it means as the son of man, and
of course as the son of God.
But we need look no further if
we want the standard for what
it means to be a man of God.
He had it all, you know?
He knew when to exercise a
sense of offense, or authority,
and he knew how to be
tender, and gentle.
The title of your
book, "Play the Man,"
that actually has some
historical significance.
It does, and I love history.
TERRY MEEUWSEN: I can tell
that reading your book.
Yes, yes.
155 AD, the bishop of
Smyrna, a guy named Polycarp,
and you can read about him
in "Foxe's Book of Martyrs."
He was arrested for his faith
and brought into a coliseum,
told to recant his faith.
But he heard a voice from heaven
that said, be strong, Polycarp.
Play the man.
And that's what he did.
He courageously
died for his faith.
And the good news, Terry, is
I don't think many of us who
with the freedoms
we enjoy will be
called to do that in the West.
But are we going
to live for Him?
And what does it mean to take
up your cross daily and follow
Christ?
And so this book is really a
call to men to play the man.
And I talk about what
that means, and talk
about seven virtues
of manhood, and that's
the heartbeat of the book.
Talk about the seven
virtues, because as you said,
it's not just a call
to be this thing.
You really give some direction
on, what does that look like?
What does the content
of a real man look like,
and how do I get
there from here?
Yeah. because
what is that target?
In our culture, we're not even
sure exactly what that means.
What is it that
differentiates men?
And so you've got to
go back to scripture.
And the very first virtue,
Terry, that I talk about
is tough love, and
I'll define it.
Tough love is carrying
a 300-pound cross
650 yards down the Via Dolorosa
for someone else's sin.
That's tough love.
And so to me, a tough
guy is not someone
that can blacken an
eye or bloody a nose.
It's someone who's willing to
be nailed to a cross for someone
else to sin and.
TERRY MEEUWSEN: And
he does it willingly.
And he does it willingly.
And that's what we're called to
as men to follow that example.
So that's your first virtue.
Yes.
Give us some of the others.
Yeah.
Well I talk about everything
from childlike wonder,
to willpower, true grit,
raw passion, clear vision,
and that one's key.
Because a lot of men have more
vision for perhaps the church
they lead, or the business
that they started,
or whatever occupation they're
called to than their family.
And we've got to
make sure that we've
got vision for our families
and for our children.
And then I end
with moral courage.
Because at the
end of the day, it
takes some courage to be the
kind of husband and father
that God's called us to be.
More and more in the
culture that we live in.
But let's jump back
to childlike wonder,
because there's a
difference-- and you
talk about this in the
book-- between being
childlike and childish.
Yes.
Childish, not a good thing.
And a lot of boys--
I want to be your
wife, not your mother.
But they never
really become men.
It doesn't happen by
default. And so I've
actually taken my boys through
a discipleship process.
TERRY MEEUWSEN: I know.
I love that.
Which we can talk about.
But I think maintaining
that childlikeness.
And by the way, I
think that's one
of the gift of having children,
because it reminds you of what
it's like to be a child.
And if I remember correctly,
Jesus took a child,
put him right in the center of
the Kingdom of God, and said,
unless you're like
this little child,
you can't even get
in the front door.
And so that chapter, I have a
little bit of fun talking about
that childlikeness,
and what that
looks like for a man of God.
You talked about the special--
I don't know what you
call it, like a program,
or a practice that
you put your boys
through as they come
to puberty and get
ready to go into manhood.
All of this would be so
much easier for young men--
about to be young men if their
dads kind of led the way.
Talk about what it is
you do with your sons.
Yeah.
A couple of months ago, I'm
in a setting with 500 guys,
and I ask them a question.
How many of you
were intentionally
discipled by your father?
Three hands went up,
Wow, out of 500.
Yeah.
Houston, we have a problem.
Because we have fathers
who've never learned what
it means to be a
spiritual father.
And I'll be the first
to say that I've
made lots of
mistakes, and I share
some of those in the book.
But I wanted to get
one thing right.
And part of it, Terry, is that
I want to be famous in my home.
TERRY MEEUWSEN: Yes.
To me, success is when
those who know you best
respect you most, and that's
my wife and my children.
So as my sons approached
their 12th birthday,
I thought, I've got
to do something.
And so I created this
discipleship covenant
that I share in the book
with a physical challenge,
mental challenge,
spiritual challenge.
And if you want, we
can talk about that.
But a year of
discipleship that then
ended with a rite of passage.
Terry, in our
culture, it's almost
like we don't do
anything with our sons,
and then they turn 21,
legal drinking age, and then
that's their rite of passage.
No.
Come on.
We've got to do
better than that.
And so what I wanted
to do was take my sons
through a discipleship process.
And at the end of
it, celebrate it.
Because now, we've stepped
into this thing called manhood.
And let's help this young
man become a man of God.
And so that's the process
that I went through.
And you've spoken
that manhood over them
in a way that calls
it forth from them,
which is so wonderful.
Yes.
And isn't it interesting
that the Heavenly Father even
did that at Jesus' baptism?
He said, this is my beloved
Son, in whom I am well pleased.
And that's my heart
as an earthly father,
to speak that same thing over
my two sons and my daughter.
It's what's
supposed to happen.
And it's all here,
Mark's insights.
You need to check out this book.
It's called "Play the Man."
It's probably never
been more needed
in our culture for fathers
or young men growing up
than it is today.
It's in stores nationwide.
Lots of wise counsel.
And here, Mark, thank you.
Always great to
have you with us.
Thank you so much, Terry.