Desperate for her father's love, Venus needed an outlet for her anger. She began rapping, drinking, and taking on a masculine role, but she still lacked the love she craved, and prayed to be saved from her lifestyle.
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VENUS BURTON: (SINGING)
Free, I'm free.
NARRATOR: People today
know Venus Burton
as a Christian rapper.
I'm free, I'm
free, so a little
rapping to it, no more shackles,
no more chains. (RAPPING)
No more shackles,
no more chains.
NARRATOR: There was a
time people knew her
by a different name.
Hey, what's up, y'all?
It's your girl, Booski
Love, coming at you.
VENUS BURTON: They would
call me Booski, Booski Love.
Now that was one of
my rapping names.
[INAUDIBLE] Underground
rap, gangster rap,
I was more of an outlaw.
It's like, well, you
don't mess with me.
I won't mess with
you kind of thing.
And so in my songs back
then, there was a lot of pain
that I went through.
NARRATOR: Venus grew up
in Southern California.
She lived with her brother
Kenny and her single mom
Vicki, who worked several jobs.
They didn't see a lot of their
mother or wayward father.
Well, I always wanted
to be a daddy's girl.
And I thought that
I was cheated.
Why can't I have that?
Why can't I have a father?
And so that caused me to
rebel, and I got angry.
And those different emotions
began to control my life.
NARRATOR: Venus was 13 when
her mom gave her life to Christ
and started taking
them to church.
At the same time, Venus
also started rapping,
which helped to vent her anger.
I had to pour it out, or to
empty myself to get rid of it.
So I would do it in the
music to get that relief
or to get that satisfaction
that I was yearning for.
NARRATOR: By 16, Venus
was drinking often.
She also decided to
hide her feminine side.
Because it shows
a soft side of me.
It shows the emotions.
It showed things that I
was going through, the hurt
and the pain that I
was going through,
that I was dealing with.
NARRATOR: She started
changing the way
she cut her hair and
the clothes she wore.
She looked and acted more like
a man with each passing day.
Because I want to be
that aggressive one.
I wanted to be the man role.
I wanted to be the one
that was in control.
I wanted to be the
one to have the power.
NARRATOR: After two
years, the transformation
was complete as Venus
became attracted to women.
In this lifestyle, I
was accepted, you know,
so I found acceptance.
I found that security.
NARRATOR: Venus continued
as an underground rap
artist, her popularity
growing each year.
In the meantime, she had
numerous relationships
with women and all ended badly.
The loneliness, the
betrayal of friends and people
that I thought that
loved me so much or even
being in the relationship.
I was drinking so much
that I would black out,
didn't know places that I was.
And I found myself in
some really dark places.
NARRATOR: All this
time, her mom, Vicki,
prayed continually
for her daughter,
hoping she'd find
a way to Christ.
There was times I would
go and put on her shoes
and walk and pray in them.
You know, just maybe
take the anointing oil,
go anoint her room, you
know, and just believe God.
NARRATOR: At times, Venus
also reached out to God.
There was something
in me that I will always
pray to God, seeking God.
I know You're real, but
I need You to show up.
I need You to show up now.
You know, I'm tired.
I'm tired of being who I was.
Didn't know how to
get out, didn't know
if there was a way to get out.
TV REPORTER (ON VIDEOTAPE):
Up to 5,000 birds
just fell from the sky.
NARRATOR: One afternoon
while watching an alarming
story on the news, Venus
thought the world was coming
to an end as well as her life.
Like half an hour later--
I remember I said, you
know, God save me, save me
from this lifestyle.
I need you to take
this away from me.
And as I pray to
God, He instantly
took away the desire of
wanting to sleep with a woman.
His love and His
compassion for me, I just
felt so much lighter.
I felt free.
I mean, I felt the chains
were broken off of my life.
NARRATOR: It took time,
prayer, and God's healing,
but Venus embraced her
identity as the woman
God created her to be.
In my process, He was
unveiling, unpeeling me just
like an onion, you know,
every layer, every hurt,
every pain that I was going
to, every disappointment.
And they were just
coming off one by one.
NARRATOR: Venus and her mom
joined forces, and minister
to hurting people
through their radio show.
In the basement,
Real Talk with VLB.
I am your host.
VENUS BURTON: That emptiness,
the void that I was missing,
Jesus, He fulfilled
that, that void,
that emptiness that I
was filling in my heart.
He filled it with His love, His
love and His compassion for me.
And that was really the
ultimate healing for me,
to have God Almighty
as my Father.