911 OPERATOR: 9-1-1-.

What's the location of your emergency?

WOMAN'S VOICE: I, I think there's somebody shooting in

here, at Sandy Hook School.

MRS. HUBBARD: I prayed, keep them safe.

Bring them home.

911 OPERATOR: Do you see anything or hear anything more?

MAN'S VOICE: I keepg hearing shooting.

I keep hearing popping.

MRS. HUBBARD: I saw Freddy.

And Freddy said, I can find Catherine.

I can't find Catherine.

911 OPERATOR: Get the [INAUDIBLE] Get everybody

you can going down there.

MONSIGNOR ROBERT WEISS: I stood there

as the children's names were called,

and the parents took them from the line.

And then you looked along the back wall of the firehouse,

and you saw the parents whose children did not respond, here.

MRS. HUBBARD: Freddy and I were sitting there.

And he had his head on my shoulder.

And I just remember the weight of his head, of like, wow.

I knew, I knew in my gut that Catherine had died.

[CHURCH BELL]

NEWS REPORTER 1: The grieving town of Newtown, Connecticut,

holds the first funerals today for victims

of the school shooting that left 20 children and six adults

dead.

NEWS REPORTER 2: 20-year-old Adam Lanza

carried out the deadly rampage before taking his own life.

NEWS REPORTER 3: There are many questions.

What if the shooter had no access to the guns?

NEWS REPORTER 4: Others say the real problem

is our mental health system.

NEWS REPORTER 5: This never should have happened.

How could this happen?

MAN: There is evil.

There's an abundance of evil in the world.

And we have to confront it.

I miss her laugh.

I miss her bear hugs.

She would crawl into bed early in the morning.

And I miss rolling over and seeing her face.

There's mornings that I roll over and think,

oh, you're still here.

Animals were just her passion, tried and true.

Whether they were furry or slimy, she loved them all.

She'd be in the garden, and she'd

be among the butterflies that would sort of swoop in.

And she would get a butterfly on her hand.

And she would whisper to them, tell all your friends

that I'm kind.

MONSIGNOR ROBERT WEISS: This question just

kept being thrown at me.

Is this making you lose your faith in God?

Because how do you explain this?

You know, how do you explain a senseless act like this?

MRS. HUBBARD: How do we go on?

How do we go on?

There was so much sadness, so much weight, so much pain.

The quiet that ensued after Catherine died

was just painful.

MONSIGNOR ROBERT WEISS: I knew I had

to do something in this church.

I came back here.

It was two hours before the service,

and the church was already filled.

And people were just forming their own prayer circles.

Some were just singing Christmas carols.

It was very clear to all of us that light was not going

to be overcome by darkness.

The getting used to the new normal, it was hard.

We would start talking about Catherine

and then someone would go, I can't do this.

We each had those moments.

But in getting through that, it drew us closer together.

It forced us to depend more heavily on God.

And somehow, between 12/14 and the funeral

and then putting Freddy back on the bus

and sending him to school, in each of those moments,

I haven't had to worry about what to do.

And so many days when I am just sad

and I just miss Catherine, the sun comes through the kitchen

and warms me like you would think

that I had the heat on full blast,

just God reaching in and saying, I'm here.

He knows my disappointment and my heartache.

And that's OK, because God is bigger than that.

We had written her obituary and had said, in lieu of flowers,

please donate to the animal center of Newtown.

Within two or three weeks, they had

received over $100,000 in donations in Catherine's honor.

They had shared that they would like to build a sanctuary.

And as they described their vision, I saw Catherine.

I felt Catherine.

I knew in my heart that this was the road

that we needed to take.

Every decision that we've made from design to programming,

she's at the heart of it all.

And in so many ways, in so many moments,

I feel like it's that place where heaven and Earth connect.

And I can be with Catherine.

And oh, my gosh, what a gift.

And to think that God would say, OK, this

is where I need you to be, that He would entrust all the people

that He's brought into the fold with such

an awesome responsibility that at the end of the day

is reflective of our baby girl.

Oh, my gosh, what an honor.

I have come to an understanding that she never mine.

She's God.

He's brought her home.

We are here because we still have work to be done.

He has a purpose for us.

He has a purpose for Freddy.

Freddy's journey's not done.

Catherine's was.

I can't be angry about that.

Do I want more time with her?

Yes, absolutely, positively-- what I

wouldn't give for one more day.

But I don't want to take heaven away from her.

I don't.

We rest in hope, knowing that there will be

a day when we'll see her again.

MONSIGNOR ROBERT WEISS: What do you

have if you don't have faith?

You can get very disheartened.

You can get very discouraged.

You can give up.

You can feel like, why bother?

We all have to reckon with that, because we don't know

at any moment what can happen.

And I think we have to be able to find

some peace within ourselves.

And I don't know a better place to find peace than prayer.

MRS. HUBBARD: When Catherine died,

I felt like I was a faithful person.

I wasn't even scratching the surface.

There was a time when prayer was reserved

for when the house was clean.

I had a few minutes, and it was quiet.

And it was the setting that God would want, like, OK, here I

am.

And my house looks perfect.

And I'm dressed.

And aren't you happy with me?

Where now, it's a constant dialogue.

It's opened my eyes to see You, opened my ears to hear You,

and give me the courage, dear God, to do

what I'm supposed to do today.

MONSIGNOR ROBERT WEISS: We were asked to carry a huge cross.

And what are we going to show the world?

Are we going to fall on our knees in weakness?

Are we going to be like Christ and get up again?

It's still hard to drive down that road.

It's still hard.

But the lessons and the stories and the incredible gifts

that these little children at six and seven left the world,

you realize you have to go on.

MRS. HUBBARD: The days where I'm like, oh, this is too much,

I think of her leaning over the counter, determined

that she was going to write her name perfectly.

I only hope that we walk with such grace

and poise, and leave the legacy that she has left us.