WOMAN: I had just woken up from a coma

that doctors had given me less than a 10% chance of surviving.

And I felt nothing but disappointment

that I was still alive.

When I was 21, I was a senior in college

going to a small school in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

I was married at the time, and my whole world kind of

started to unravel.

I started getting more and more depressed,

and just overwhelmed.

I was taking a really heavy course load.

I started dressing in all black.

I stopped sleeping, stopped eating.

I had lost like 30 pounds in a month.

And I was just a mess.

I also started having all of these flashbacks

to some abuse that had happened when I was child.

The abuse went on for about four years.

It was incredibly terrifying.

My solution was that a God that was real

wouldn't have let any of that stuff happen to me.

And in the absence of God, life had no meaning.

I had six bottles of prescription pills,

and I lined them all up on the table

and chased them with a bottle of vodka.

The fire department broke down my door.

They found me on the floor.

My heart stopped in the ambulance,

and I was put on life support.

And they gave me about a 10% chance of ever waking up.

When I woke up, all I felt was disappointed

that it didn't work.

I had a couple of more suicide attempts, many more

hospitalizations.

I had ended up divorced.

I had to file for bankruptcy.

My friends kind of just all disappeared.

And I had nothing-- literally nothing.

And I was at rock bottom.

I called up a new therapist.

And I said, I just spent the last 2 and 1/2

years of my life talking about every bad thing that has ever

happened to me, and I just don't want to talk about it anymore.

I would go three times a week and talk to her

about how to put one foot in front of the other.

I started to recover from the depression,

but I never recovered from the loss of faith.

I met Chuck, my husband.

I loved him so much, and we were great together,

and we had a great life.

And yet, even with everything that we had,

it felt-- always felt like there was still something missing.

We started attending church kind of reluctantly.

And the people there were just so nice and so welcoming.

And we have been feeling so lonely for so long

that it was sort of like-- it was nice.

And finally, one day, I just remember

sitting there in church and going, OK, God, I give up.

You can have me.

And that was it.

It was this moment of peace and clarity,

and knowing that was where I was supposed to be.

And it was amazing.

It was almost like I had been standing in front

of a tapestry, you know.

And I was this close, and I couldn't see the whole picture.

But when God pulled me back, and I

was able to see that through everything that I had gone

through, He was always putting the right people

in the right place at the right time.

There is hope, even if you can't see it right now.

Our salvation it happens despite everything that we do.

We are saved not because of what we do but because

of what has been done for us.

And despite the fact that I had turned my back on Him,

He never turned his back on me.