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Embracing Your Second Chance

Pat Smith, wife of NFL great Emmitt Smith, discusses her new book Second Chances. Find healing for your pain and celebrate a new life. Read Transcript


[MUSIC PLAYING]

God is a God of second chances, and no one

knows that better than Pat Smith.

This former Miss Virginia and runner-up to Miss USA

has experienced some extraordinarily high points

in her life and some devastating low ones.

Take a look.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

NARRATOR: Meet Pat Smith.

She's an author, speaker, and television host.

She's also the wife of former Dallas Cowboy Emmitt Smith.

She might seem like she has it all,

but Pat's journey hasn't been easy.

She suffered through the death of her mother,

followed by a divisible divorce from Hollywood superstar Martin

Lawrence.

Pat dealt with guilt, insecurity, and depression.

In her new book, "Second Chances,"

she shares the story of how God completely changed her life

and how he can do the same for others.

Please welcome, to "The 700 Club," Pat Smith.

It's great to have you here.

It is so good to be here.

I mean, I grew up around "The 700 Club,"

right here, in Virginia Beach, so I'm ecstatic.

It's coming home, right?

I'm home.

I'm home.

It's wonderful.

It's great to have you with us today.

You know, your book is so amazing.

You've lived an extraordinary life, as I said.

You've had some wonderful high points and some low points.

And you're very candid, in your book,

about the struggles in your life.

What made you decide to write this?

You know what, I kept saying, I wish that someone--

you know, I lost my mother very, very young,

from breast cancer-- I always said,

I wish someone had told me, when I was around 20 years old,

that life was going to be hard, that you're going to suffer.

You're going to suffer some losses, and disappointments,

and shame.

But God could take all of that, and turn it around,

and make it something so special and so unique for His glory.

And so, for me, it's a gift.

It's a gift to other women, other people that we

honor a God of second chances.

And really, second chance is-- to me-- it's just His grace.

Right?

It's his grace.

It's His love that, no matter what you do, no matter

who you are, He can use you.

And we don't have to stay stuck or in shame.

Your book isn't just about your story.

You share, in it, the lives of, really,

many women that you've met along the way who've also

had places of pain, and hurt, and wounding,

but have not just survived, but thrived, because they've

let God take that and make something good out of it.

---which was so beautiful.

And I noticed this.

Like, two years ago, I did an event with Robin Roberts

in Dallas.

And it was called, Celebrating Second Chances with Overcomers.

And that's when I realized that every woman

that we honored-- not only Robin,

but every other woman-- they had been through great adversity.

But they had taken that, and now, they

were building ministries, starting nonprofits.

They had a passion in the area of their hurt and pain.

And I said, you know what, there's

a unique line or thread--

There's a string running through this.

Yeah.

Like, I see something happening here.

Right?

And then, that's when it gave me hope for my own life.

For so many years, like I talk about in the book,

through a lot of my own struggles,

I made some bad decisions, some bad choices.

And I felt so much shame because of it, so much embarrassment.

I came from a wonderful family right here,

in Virginia, wonderful parents, and grew up in the church.

And when I lost my mother, there was a void.

There was just this huge void, and I just couldn't figure out

how to fill it.

And so I found myself, whether it

was seeking ambition, or fame, or men,

trying to fill that void-- or with things.

And I realized, really, the only thing

that can fill that void is Jesus Christ.

Right?

But it takes a while to figure that out, doesn't it?

Yes.

I mentioned that you had been Miss Virginia.

You went on and competed for Miss USA.

You were first runner-up.

So you had that, as you're saying, drive for significance,

really.

But you're looking for what life is about.

But one of the problems with that is it

puts you out in front of the public.

Then you marry a very well-know Hollywood star.

And when it didn't work out, it's all so public.

How did you walk through that time?

Let me tell you, it was crushing.

It was very crushing.

It was very humiliating.

Because I was just coming off of the Miss Virginia pageant,

and then, of course, Miss USA.

Now mind you, what was so interesting

is that, because I lost my mother, to me,

at Miss USA-- I know you were Miss America, right--

I wanted to be Miss USA.

I was first runner-up.

For me, that was second loser.

That, to me, I felt like I lost.

Close doesn't count.

No, it didn't count for me.

Because I lost my mother.

Then, I felt like I lost the pageant Then, of course,

I go on to get married.

That marriage doesn't work.

That's a failure to me.

We had a beautiful young daughter.

And in the middle of the night, I

found myself having to leave our home-- and so, another loss.

And so what tends to happen is that we put a mask on.

You know?

We try to pretend that it's OK.

And also, in the middle of losses like that,

the enemy comes in like a flood and starts

speaking these things to your mind and to your heart.

You're not worthy.

You'll never find what you're looking for.

You can't be loved.

How did you deal with that?

How did you get from that to, you

know what, I get a second chance here?

Exactly You know, it was about a 20-year struggle for me.

And that's why I wrote this book.

Because for me, a lot of it is forgiveness.

You've got to forgive yourself.

Many times, I had a hard time-- why did I make that choice?

Why did I do that?

Right?

So forgiving yourself, forgiving others-- I

had to forgive my ex-husband.

Even in your marriage with Emmitt,

you two had things you had to forgive each other for.

Absolutely.

That's kind of an ongoing truth that we

need to step onto and stay with, isn't it?

Exactly.

And you know what, I'm so transparent about it,

and we both are.

Because I think transparency and being real

is so important in healing.

But to me, Emmitt was like my knight

in shining armor after so much hurt and pain.

And I actually put him in a place

that wasn't even fair for him.

To me, it was like, I put them in a place of, OK,

he's going to save me.

He's going to rescue me from all this pain.

He's my happiness.

Exactly.

But Emmitt is human, just like me.

So he made some choices that were not

good for our relationship when we were dating.

And through those choices, a child was conceived.

And we had a struggle with forgiveness and healing

through that that took us many, many years.

I mean, you talk about the enemy reminding you of your past--

my precious baby, she's now 18 years old.

I mean, she's one of my kids.

Literally, I constantly have to fight the enemy, even today,

in my marriage of, can I trust.

Is this safe?

And I constantly have to lean on God

and remember that we are human, and that he has covered us,

and he has brought us so far.

It's a day-to-day journey of locking and loading on truth,

making right choices.

Your book is called "Second Chances,"

but you also are doing something with and for women today

called Treasure You.

What is that?

Yes, that's my baby.

So Treasure You was birthed, again--

First Lady Serita Jakes told me, years ago,

that your misery can become your ministry.

Right?

And so I learned, on this journey,

that through all of the difficulties,

there's a silver lining.

And that is that I have a heart for women.

Every time that I've gone through some very difficult

struggles in my life, there's been amazing women

that have undergirded me.

I have a great spiritual mentor, Kathy Moffat,

who has just walked me through.

Right?

And so I started an organization where women come together.

And we share and we celebrate one another.

And we inspire one another in a safe environment,

through retreats and events.

And so Treasure You is, I call it, my little baby.

And this Saturday, we're doing a livestream out of Dallas.

And it's another Treasure You event for "Second Chances"

with Wynonna Judd, who is willing to share her story.

Because I just believe that testimonies

are so important to other people.

Sometimes we see people and we think, Terry,

you're just perfect.

Never have a problem, right.

You're Miss America.

You're gorgeous.

You don't have any problems.

Well, you and I know that--

Not true.

---it's not true.

Not true.

And women, you know, the sisterhood

that we have with each other is a gift from the Lord, really.

It really is.

You've just got to find the right women.

Yeah, that's important.

Let me tell you, that is important.

That's why, like, when I look at these reality shows,

it kills me to see women who are fighting or going up

against each other.

Because the enemy knows that if women come together,

it's a powerful force, that we love each other,

that we can make things happen.

And so I think he fights those relationships.

But you're right, when you get together with some good sisters

and girlfriends, it's all on.

Things happen.

And one of the great things about the book that you've

written is that second chances are for men and for women.

It's for everybody.

I want to tell you that this book contains

the story of Pat's life and the lives of other women

who've all experienced a second chance.

The book is going to be released next Tuesday, on May 17.

You could pre-order a copy now if you'd like to.

I recommended that you do.

And also, Treasure You, she was talking about that.

They're going to be hosting their first ever live broadcast

event.

That's on May the 14th, happening at the Westin Hotel

Galleria in Dallas.

If you're nearby, take part.

Special guest Wynonna Judd and comedian John Gray

are going to be in attendance as well.

If you'd like a link to the live-stream event--

can't be there, go to the link-- just go to cbn.com.

We'll tell you how to do that.

Pat, thank you so much for your--

Thank you, Terry.

---vulnerability and your candor.

We appreciate what you've said and what you've written.

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