Katie struggled with her body image since childhood, believing lies that she was overweight. She took a journey down a very destructive path from diet pills to starvation to binging/purging.
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THERE WAS ONE BOY WHO
PAID PARTICULAR ATTENTION TO
ME.
ONE DAY HE CAME UP TO ME AND
HANDED ME A PICTURE, AND HE
SAID, THIS IS WHAT YOU LOOK
LIKE IF YOU DON'T KNOW.
AND IT WAS A PICTURE OF A
GIRL WHO IS EXTREMELY
OVERWEIGHT.
I REMEMBER FEELING
DEVASTATED AND EMBARRASSED.
THE WORD CONTROL IS WHAT
ANOREXIA AND EATING
DISORDERS IS ALL ABOUT.
SO I STARTED TRYING
DIFFERENT DIETS.
I STARTED TO CUT OUT ENTIRE
FOOD GROUPS.
IT BECAME SO OBSESSIVE I
WOULD ONLY EAT A SELECT
HANDFUL OF THINGS.
MY MOM STARTED TO NOTICE
THAT THINGS WERE CHANGING
WITH ME.
I WAS STARTING TO LOSE
WEIGHT, BUT MORE SO SHE
NOTICED MY EATING HABITS.
A HALF OF APPLE SLICE
WOULD BE CUT IN 20 DIFFERENT
SECTIONS.
WHICH REALLY SIGNALLED TO ME
THAT SOMETHING WAS UP.
I REALLY STARTED TO GET
ATTENTION, ESPECIALLY FROM
BOYS AND THINGS, AND I
THOUGHT, WELL, THIS IS
GOOD.
BEING ABLE TO CONTROL MY
WEIGHT WAS SOMETHING THAT
GAVE ME A GREAT SENSE OF
POWER.
IT WASN'T UNTIL WE WERE
PURCHASING A CHEERLEADING
OUTFIT FOR KATIE, AND SHE
WAS IN THE DRESSING ROOM
TRYING IT ON.
I OPENED THE CURTAIN, AND MY
HEART SANK, AND THE REALITY
OF HOW SERIOUS THIS WAS
REALLY HIT ME.
I MISSED ALL OF THE SIGNS.
I REALLY STARTED TO DROP
WEIGHT SO DRASTICALLY THAT
PEOPLE STARTED TO GIVE ME
NEGATIVE ATTENTION.
I JUST GOT VERY DEFENSIVE
AND I THOUGHT, WELL, NOTHING
IS WRONG WITH ME.
YOU KNOW, I WOULD JUST
PRAY DAILY THAT SHE WOULD
FIND HER IDENTITY IN
CHRIST.
BECAUSE I KNEW TRULY THAT
WAS THE ANSWER.
I WOULD NOT ONLY PRAY IN A
SECRET PLACE, BUT I WOULD
PRAY WITH HER.
SO SHE ALWAYS SAW I WAS FOR
HER.
IT FINALLY GOT TO THE
POINT WHERE MY MOM HAD
CONVINCED ME TO GO TO
COUNSELLING AND I NEEDED
HELP.
I DIDN'T EVER REALLY DEAL
WITH THE TRUE HEART ISSUE.
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL
WITH MY EMOTIONS, SO I RAN
TO FOOD.
AND, OF COURSE, I FELT
GUILTY AND SO I HAD TO DO
SOMETHING WITH THAT.
I HAD TO GET RID OF IT.
SO I WOULD PURGE.
I FELT COMPLETELY OUT OF
CONTROL AND I DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO STOP IT.
MY SISTERS, ACTUALLY, WERE
THE ONES THAT CAME TO ME AND
THEY SAID, WE KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE DOING TO YOURSELF.
IT WAS SEEING MY SISTERS
CRYING AND REACHING OUT
DESPERATELY FOR ME AND FOR
ME TO BE HEALTHY THAT REALLY
KIND OF SNAPPED SOMETHING IN
ME.
AND I REALIZED WHAT I WAS
TRULY DOING TO MYSELF AT
THAT MOMENT.
I REALLY SUBMITTED MYSELF TO
THE LORD.
I JUST POURED OUT TO HIM,
AND I SAID, LORD, WHAT DO I
NEED TO DO TO BE HEALED FROM
THIS AND TURN MY LIFE
AROUND.
THE VERY FIRST SCRIPTURE THE
LORD SHOWED ME WAS ISAIAH
61: 3, WHICH SAYS HE GIVES
YOU A GARMENT.
AND I SAID, LORD, I'M GOING
TO BELIEVE AND TRUST IN YOUR
WORD AND THIS PROMISE TO
ME.
AND I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO
BRING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL
OUT OF IT.
THERE WAS A LOT OF RENEWING
OF MY MIND THAT HAD TO TAKE
PLACE.
BUT AT THAT MOMENT,
PHYSICALLY, I COMPLETELY
ABANDONED ALL OF MY OLD
WAYS.
AND I JUST SAID, I WILL
NEVER GO BACK TO THAT.
AND I NEVER COULD.
THERE IS SO MUCH JOY.
KATIE IS REALLY LIVING LIFE
TO HER FULLEST, AND GOD IS
GETTING ALL OF THE GLORY
BECAUSE SHE IS ALWAYS
POINTING BACK TO HIM THAT
HER FREEDOM HAS BEEN FOUND
IN HIM.
FOR SO LONG I WAS ALMOST
SCARED OF FOOD.
I THOUGHT IT WAS KIND OF A
BAD THING.
BUT THE LORD JUST PUT A
DESIRE IN MY HEART TO START
GETTING IN THE KITCHEN AND
LEARNING ABOUT FOOD AND
DIFFERENT WAYS TO PREPARE
IT.
TO KIND OF INTRODUCE ME TO
FOOD IN A NEW, SAFE WAY.
AND JUST MAKE IT ABOUT JOY
AND EVEN BRINGING JOY TO
OTHERS.
EVEN THE WORST OF
CIRCUMSTANCES, IF YOU GIVE
YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD AND
TRUST HIM WERE YO WITH YOUR
LIFE, HE CAN TAKE ANY
SITUATION AND BRING
RESTORATION AND HOPE AND
HEALING.
THAT IS WHAT HE DOES BEST,
THAT IS HIS BUSINESS, IS
RESTORATION.