THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
[INAUDIBLE]
MY MOM WAS COOKING STEAK
DINNER, SOMETHING HER DAD
LOVED.
MY GRANDMOTHER WAS SITTING AT
THE KITCHEN TABLE WITH MY
FATHER. I WAS IN THE FAMILY
ROOM LAYING DOWN RESTING BEFORE
DINNER. AND MY GRANDFATHER
CAME
INTO THE HOME.
DAD, YOU'RE HERE.
MICHAEL WAS 10 WHEN HIS
GRANDFATHER CAME TO THE
CELEBRATION WITH A LOADED GUN.
I CAN REMEMBER MY MOM'S
VOICE
AND HER SCREAMING AND YELLING
TO
MY GRANDFATHER "DON'T SHOOT MY
BABY".
HE'S DEAD! MY BABY!
WHEN HE CAME INTO THE LIVING
ROOM I JUST THOUGHT THIS IS THE
END OF MY LIFE.
THE NICE NORMAL FAMILY,
MICHAEL, HIS GRANDMOTHER AND
TWO
OF THE THREE SISTERS WERE
HOSPITALIZED WITH WOUNDS. TWO
DAYS LATER MICHAEL LEARNED THAT
HIS PARENTS HAD BEEN KILLED IN
THE RAMPAGE.
I CAN REMEMBER JUST BEING
TOTALLY DEVASTATED AND ANGRY
AND
NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY THIS HAD
TO HAPPEN TO ME.
HIS GRANDFATHER FACED MURDER
AND ATTEMPTED MURDER CHANGES
AND
MEANWHILE HIS BROTHER CHRIS
LEFT
THE MARINES TO RAISE THEM.
I REMEMBER LAYING IN BED
CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP AND
BEING
FULL OF FEAR.
THE GRAND FATHER WAS FOUND
NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF
INSANITY
AND SERVED TWO YEARS IN A
MENTAL
HOSPITAL AND RELEASED INTO A
HALFWAY HOUSE.
AND I REMEMBER THAT DOESN'T
MAKE SENSE HOW CAN HE BE FREE
TO
COME AND GO AND LIVE HIS LIFE
AND HE DESTROYED MY LIFE.
MICHAEL STARTED HAVING
BOUGHTS OF RAGE AND FOR A WHILE
HOCKEY GAVE HIM AN OUTLET.
I REMEMBER MOTIVATION FOR
GETTING ON THE ICE I WANTED TO
HURT SOMEBODY.
BY 14 HE WAS OVERCOME WITH
DEPRESSION.
IT WAS SO DEEP THERE WAS NO
FEELING. I COULDN'T TASTE
ANYTHING. IT WAS THE BLACKEST
DARKEST PLACE YOU COULD EVER
BE.
IT WAS COLD SO I WOULDN'T EAT
OR
DO ANYTHING AND JUST SLEEP.
ONCE ACTIVE YOUNG MAN
MICHAEL
BARELY PASSED HIS CLASSES AND
DROPPED OUT OF SPORTS AND THEN
THE GRANDFATHER DIED. SHORTLY
AFTER THAT MICHAEL WAS PUT INTO
A MENTAL HOSPITAL AFTER
THREATENING TO KILL HIMSELF AND
CHRIS.
I REMEMBER THAT NIGHT
CALLING
OUT TO THE LORD AND SAYING TO
GOD THAT I CAN'T DO THIS
ANYMORE
AND I CAN REMEMBER JUST FEELING
AN OVERWHELMING PRESENCE AND I
HEARD "YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY
AND GET THROUGH THIS".
AND MICHAEL SAID EVEN THOUGH
HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE
EXPERIENCE IT WAS ENCOURAGING
AND PSYCHOLOGISTS DIAGNOSED HIM.
AND IT IS PASSED DOWN BY
GENERATION AND WHY YOUR
GRANDFATHER WAS ILL AND MAYBE
WE
CAN GET CONTROL BY MEDICATION.
BUT IT FAILED TO GIVE HIM
RELIEF.
AND I FELT WHATEVER LIFE I
HAD LEFT I WAS LOSING IT.
MICHAEL TURNED TO DRUGS AND
ALCOHOL TO NUMB THE PAIN.
EVERYDAY I WOULD CARRY THE
LOSS OF MY PARENTS AND CARRY
WHAT HAD BEEN TAKEN AWAY FROM
ME
AND BY GOING OUT AND GETTING
HIGH OR GETTING DRUNK IT WAS A
WAY JUST TO KIND OF ELIMINATE
ALL OF THAT.
BY THE TIME MICHAEL WAS 20
HE
WAS WORKING TWO JOBS AND
DRINKING HAPPILY AND THAT'S
WHEN
HE STARTED HEARING VOICES IN
HIS
HEAD.
YOU HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF.
YOUR WORTHLESS.
ONE DAY ON A WAY TO WORK.
I KNEW I WAS GOING TAKE MY
LIFE.
BUT HE ENDED UP AT HIS
BROTHER'S HOUSE. HIS
SISTER-IN-LAW WAS THERE AND SHE
KNEW HE NEEDED PRAYING.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE
DOING AND PEOPLE CAME OVER AND
GOT ON A CHURCH NETWORK AND I
HAD EXPERIENCE OF THE LOVE AND
THE PRESENCE OF THE GOD AND IT
CAME FLOODING IN AND WHEN THAT
HAPPENED AFTER A HOUR OR TWO OF
PRAYING AND I REMEMBER ALL THE
VOICES GONE AND I REMEMBER A
PEACE THAT REALLY WAS BEYOND
ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD. IT
FELT
A LOT BEING BACK WITH MY MOM
AND
DAD, HAVING A MOM AND DAD THAT
LOVED ME. ABOUT A MONTH LATER
AT A SERVICE AT CHURCH I WENT
FORWARD TO RECEIVE CHRIST AND
TO
RECEIVE BAPTISM AND THE HOLY
SPIRIT AND AT THAT POINT MY
LIFE
BEGAN TO DRASTICALLY CHANGE.
GOT RESTORED HIS MIND.
IT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING THING
AND ALL THE VOICES AND
EVERYTHING THAT PSYCHOLOGY OR
MEDICATION COULDN'T DO THOSE
VOICES WERE GONE IN AN INSTANT.
GONE TOO IS THE HATRED HE
FELT TOWARD HIS GRANDFATHER.
I ASKED GOD TO HELP ME
FORGIVE HIM AND I REMEMBER IT
WAS A HUGE WEIGHT LIFTED OFF MY
BACK.
NOW RUNS A SUCCESSFUL
BUSINESS WITH HIS BROTHER CHRIS
AND PREACHES AROUND THE WORLD
AND RAISES EIGHT CHILDREN WITH
HIS WIFE.
I LOOK AT MY LIFE TODAY AS
MUCH LOSS THERE IS MORE GAIN BY
KNOWING CHRIST. IT'S BEYOND
WHAT I CAN EVER IMAGINE.
