BY THE TIME I STARTED

HIGH SCHOOL, I HAD DONE

EVERY KIND OF DRUG YOU COULD

POSSIBLY IMAGINE.

I INTRODUCED HER INTO THAT

PART OF LIFE AND THAT

LIFESTYLE.

FOR ABOUT TWO YEARS, WE

KIND OF GOT ON THE BINGE,

AND I ENDED UP GETTING

PREGNANT AFTER THOSE TWO

YEARS.

IT WASN'T LIKE HE GOT DOWN

ON HIS KNEE AND ASKED ME TO

MARRY HIM.

IT WAS LIKE, HEY, I'M

PREGNANT.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET

MARRIED.

IT WAS HARD BECAUSE THIS WAS

REALLY NOT WHAT I WANTED FOR

MY LIFE.

I HAD A TENDENCY TO BLAME

HIM.

I WAS VERY DEPRESSED.

ESPECIALLY AFTER OUR SON WAS

BORN.

AFTER OUR SON WAS BORN,

WE HAD OUR LITTLE GIRL.

I STAYED HOME WITH THE

KIDS, JUST BEHIND CLOSED

DOORS.

ONE OF THOSE MOMS WHO IS

DEALING WITH TAKING CARE OF

HER KIDS BY TAKING

PRESCRIPTION DRUGS.

IT WAS NOT ANY TYPE OF

MARRIAGE YOU WOULD WANT OR

ANYTHING THAT YOU WOULD WANT

YOUR KIDS TO SEE.

BUT AT THE TIME, I DIDN'T

KNOW THAT SHE WAS ON THE

PAIN PILLS THE WAY THAT SHE

WAS.

I WAS JUST SCREAMING,

YELLING, MAD, IRRITATED ALL

OF THE TIME BECAUSE OF MY

DEPRESSION AND BECAUSE I WAS

CONSTANTLY LOOKING ELSEWHERE

TO TRY TO FIND MY

HAPPINESS.

I BEGAN HAVING AN AFFAIR

WITH ONE OF OUR FRIENDS.

JUST A PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL

AFFAIR THAT BROUGHT ME WHAT

I THOUGHT I WAS LOOKING

FOR.

IN THE BACK OF MY MIND, I

KNEW THAT SOMETHING ELSE WAS

GOING ON.

AT THAT TIME, I BEGAN TO

HAVE WHAT SHE WAS CALLING AN

EMOTIONAL AFFAIR WITH

ANOTHER WOMAN AT A JOB.

SHE WOULD DO HER THING AND I

WOULD DO MY THING, AND WE

WOULD COME BACK HOME AND

BASICALLY JUST SLEPT UNDER

THE SAME ROOM.

SHE HAD THREATENED TO LEAVE,

AND SAID SHE WANTED A

DIVORCE SEVERAL TIMES.

AND THEN WHEN YOU SEE THE

PAPERS AND YOU REALIZE IT

REAL AND THIS IS SOMETHING

THAT IS FIXIN' TO HAPPEN, IT

WAS REALLY HARD.

I DIDN'T CARE.

I DIDN'T CARE IF I LIVED OR

DIED.

I STARTED SNORTING

OXYCONTIN.

I STARTED DOING COKE AGAIN.

I SIGNED OVER CUSTODY TO

HIM, AND I REMEMBER I LEFT

THE LAWYER'S OFFICE AND CAME

HOME AND GOT HIGH.

I LOST MY JOBMENT -- I

LOST MY JOB AND I LOST THE

KIDS.

I COULDN'T AFFORD MY

APARTMENT ANYMORE.

I WAS LEFT WITH ABSOLUTELY

NOTHING.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

I REMEMBER DAYS BEING

EXTREMELY HARD BECAUSE I

COULDN'T TALK TO THE KIDS.

THERE WOULD BE TIMES THAT I

WOULD BE IN SO MUCH PHYSICAL

PAIN BECAUSE I MISSED THEM

SO MUCH.

BUT I HAD TO RELIVE EVERY

BIT OF WHAT I HAD DONE TO

BRING ME TO THIS POINT TO

GET BETTER.

AND JUST TO HAVE THAT

OPPORTUNITY FOR THOSE

MONTHS, JUST TO LAY

EVERYTHING DOWN BEFORE HIM

AND SAY, THIS IS WHAT I

BRING TO YOU.

IT IS A BIG PILE OF COMPLETE

AND UTTER DESTRUCTION.

AND I NEED YOU TO HELP ME.

I NEED YOU TO SAVE ME FROM

ALL OF THIS BECAUSE I CAN'T

SAVE MYSELF.

IT WAS ULTIMATELY GOD

WANTING A RELATIONSHIP WITH

ME.

AND ME HAVING THAT

RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM IN

ORDER TO BE THE PERSON THAT

HE CALLED ME TO BE.

IT WAS EVERY SINGLE THING

THAT I NEEDED.

AND IT WAS JESUS THAT -- HE

WAS THE ONLY THING THAT

COULD FIX EVERYTHING THAT

WAS GOING ON IN MY LIFE.

I GOT TO SEE THE KIDS VERY

RARELY AT THE VERY BEGINNING

BECAUSE JEFFREY WAS, OF

COURSE, VERY STAND OFFISH.

AND I WANTED TO RUSH BACK

HOME, BUT ULTIMATELY, IT HAD

TO BE A GOD THING.

THAT HE HAD TO CHANGE THEIR

HEARTS, TO SEE ME AS A

DIFFERENT PERSON.

I HAD HAD STARTED GOING

BACK TO CHURCH WITH MY

PARENTS.

THE MORE WE WENT AND THE

MORE I STARTED PRAYING, I

ASKED FOR FORGIVENESS FOR

THE THINGS THAT I HAD DONE.

AND DURING THAT TIME, GOD

OPENED MY EYES AND SHOWED ME

THAT CHRIST DIED FOR ME.

HOW AM I STILL GOING TO BE

BITTER TOWARDS HER.

I STARTED SEEING THE WAY THE

KIDS WERE WITH HER AND HOW

SHE WAS WITH THE KIDS, AND

STARTED PICTURING, I GUESS,

MY FAMILY BACK TOGETHER.

ME AND MY SISTER AND MY

MOM WERE HAVING DINNER AT

THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY FOR

MOTHER'S DAY.

EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T HAVE MY

KIDS, I WAS GOING TO

CELEBRATE THE MOTHER I WAS

GOING TO BE.

I REMEMBER LOOKING AROUND

THE CORNER AND I SAW JEFFREY

AND I SAW THE KIDS.

THEY WALKED OVER AND JEFFREY

GOT DOWN ON BENDED KNEE, AND

HE WAS LIKE I KNOW THERE HAS

BEEN SO MUCH WE HAVE SAID

AND DONE TO EACH OTHER, AND

SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS

THAT WE'VE DONE TO HURT EACH

OTHER.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW WE

FORGIVE YOU.

AND WE WANT TO KNOW IF YOU

WOULD MARRY US AGAIN.

AND I SAW MY KIDS EXCITED.

AND I THOUGHT, THIS IS

JESUS.

THIS IS WHAT JESUS DOES.

OUR MARRIAGE COMPARED TO

WHAT IT WAS BEFORE IS LIKE

NIGHT AND DAY.

IT WASN'T OVERNIGHT.

IT TOOK A LONG TIME.

BUT TO KNOW THAT HE CAN

RESTORE ANYTHING, WE TRY OUR

BEST TO PUT HIM FIRST.

SO IT IS COMPLETELY

DIFFERENT.

IF YOU FEEL HOPELESS IN

YOUR MARRIAGE, GET ON YOUR

KNEES AND SEEK THE ONLY ONE

WHO CAN SAVE ANY SITUATION

LIKE THIS.

BECAUSE HE WANTS, MORE THAN

ANYTHING, TO SEE MARRIAGES

RESTORED.

HE IS JESUS.

HE IS IN THE POWER OF

RESTORATION.

THAT IS WHAT HE DOES.

THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE BECAUSE

THERE IS JESUS, AND HE IS

THE ANSWER.