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"Even Paul said that, 'I wish that all men were like I am – single.' I think where you’re at is a gift from the Lord. If you’re single, that’s where the Lord has you. If you’re married, that’s where the Lord has you." - John Sanders
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"Marriage is not 50/50. True love doesn’t keep score. Marriage is a 100/100. If I’m not helping out around the house, that’s when I need her to love me. And when she’s not acting right, that’s when I need to love her. Anybody can love somebody when everything is great. The hard time is to love somebody when you don’t like them, when they’re being mean to you, or when you’re used to them." - John Sanders
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| John and Kari are enjoying married life. They recently started Camp Electric, a camp where kids can play with great Christian bands. Check out their site at: www.campelectric.com. |
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Marriage
Finding The God Factor in Your Marriage
By Jennifer E. Jones
CBN.com Producer
CBN.com
– Nashville, TN – If you spent an evening with Brother’s Keeper singer John Sanders and his wife, Kari, you’d think that you were in front of a couple who had been together for years. However, as I sat with the two at Gospel Music Week this past April, they’d only been married a little over a year.
The Sanders are clearly in love. I had to pick their brains to see what was behind the twinkle in their eyes.
Jennifer E. Jones: What was the biggest surprise that you found in getting married?
John Sanders: The biggest surprise to me is Kari. I was 30 when we met, got married at 32. I had gone most of my life as single [saying], "Where in the world is my Ms. Right out there?" I didn't have a big list but I had what I was praying for and looking for in a wife. When I met Kari, that was the surprise. God brought us together, and she’s that girl. I never was nervous. I knew what the Lord had for me. It was surprising to me that there could be someone as perfect as Kari for me.
Kari Sanders: The biggest surprise was finding a best friend in my mate. This really is possible – somebody I want to spend all my time with. I can’t think of any negative. There will of course be the little things that you’re going to run into that are a normal part of meeting a new person.
Jennifer: How did you know that this was the one?
John: I don’t think you’ll know unless you’ve got pre-set standards. For me, it wasn’t just the list; it’s a relationship. I knew the kind of girl I was looking for who loved the Lord, who was a Christian first… It’s another step of obedience. If you’re walking with the Lord and in His will and seeking Him first with all your heart, then as you date this person, He’ll reveal it to you. Then it’s exciting. There’s no worry, because you know it’s the right thing to do.
Kari: For us, we talked for a long time before we actually met. We really knew each other and knew about each other. We talked about everything. Neither one of us were looking to date just to date. When we met, we both knew. It was cool. It was a God thing.
Jennifer: Is there anything that you’re able to do now as a married couple that you weren’t able to as singles?
John: If I’m Kari’s best friend, how much time do I spend praying for her? Our home life, our spiritual life, everything can be a direct result of my prayer. It’s very convicting. We leave our families, and now we’re a family. How much are we praying for each other? That’s what the Lord’s been showing me recently. That can be a great blessing as well when you think of someone praying for you.
Jennifer: Do you feel pressure to move on to the next step like buying a house and having children?
Kari: What we see more of is the pressure of your peers. They’re getting a house. They’re thinking about having kids. Is that the next thing? What everyone else is doing…
John: Peer pressure never stops.
Kari: Yeah, just because you’re not high school doesn’t mean that it’s not there.
John: It just keeps on going. That’s where as a family you can’t compare yourself to people around you. You get a plan for what the Lord has for your life.
Kari: It doesn’t matter what everybody else around you is doing. We’ve prayed about our future plans. That’s between John and I and the Lord.
Jennifer: Lastly, a lot of books are coming out now that talk about “affair-proofing” your marriage. Do you all have tactics or methods that keep someone else from coming in on your union?
John: The best thing you can do to protect yourself is stay in a right relationship with your Heavenly Father and stay in a love relationship with your wife. That’s the order of responsibility – your Savior and then your spouse. It’s life’s Master, life’s mate, and life’s mission.
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