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Infidelity in the Church

What Would Jesus Say to Ashley Madison?

By Kyle Idleman
Guest Writer

CBN.comA few weeks ago, Ashley Madison, a dating website for "people already in a relationship" (aka cheaters) released results of a member-poll which revealed that 25 percent of those surveyed profess to be Christians. The site was attempting to find a link between infidelity and religion. (It should be noted that the survey was of their members, so it's not that 25 percent of Christians are cheaters, but that 25 percent of their members claim to be Christians.)

Sadly, I can't say I was surprised by the results. Here are a few observations I've made as a pastor that explain why I wasn't shocked:

1. Increasingly people describe themselves as "Christian" based upon their heritage. They are describing their religious affiliation rather than a personal commitment. They think of being a Christian like they think of their nationality. They know they are not an atheist so they identify themselves as "Christian" not because they follow Jesus, but because their parents or grandparents were "Christians".

2. Culturally we have become comfortable separating our beliefs from our behavior. That's not just true when it comes to matters of faith. For example, there are many surveys where people say they believe that eating right and exercise is important, but their behavior doesn't reflect that belief. Or someone may say that family matters most, but their calendar doesn't back that up. A belief that is not supported by reality isn't a belief it's a delusion.

3. The church is full of recovering hypocrites (like me). The reality is that we are a work in progress. Our hope is not in our good deeds or moral behavior. Our hope is in Jesus. We don't put our trust in ourselves, but in him to save us. We follow him imperfectly. The way we recover from hypocrisy is not by being perfect, but by being honest that we aren't.

There is a story in the Bible found in the Gospel of John where we read about a woman who was caught in the act of adultery. She is ripped from the bedroom and thrown at the feet of Jesus to receive her punishment. The crowd is full of hypocrites who are ready to stone her. They wait for Jesus to deliver the sentence. Instead Jesus says, "If any of you is without sin, he can cast the first stone." Slowly the stones drop to ground and the accusers walk away. Then Jesus says something to this woman. We don't know her name, but let's call her Ashley Madison. Jesus says, Ashley, neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin.

That's what I would say to those who identify as Christian on Ashley Madison. But I wouldn't just say it to 25 percent of the members; I would say it to 100 percent. We come to Jesus and he offers us forgiveness and invites us to live a new and different life.

One of the slogans Ashley Madison has used is "Life is short. Have an affair". When I read that, it reminded me of Solomon in the Bible. He reached the same initial observation, and then set out on a journey to discover the implications of that reality.

There is a new movie that I executive produced called The Song that explores these very themes. It releases nationwide on September 26th and is based on the life and writings of Solomon. He was a man who had a godly heritage and knew God's wisdom but often lived in a way that contradicted those things. The Song is a passionate love story that will challenge us all to make the most of this short life.

Ashley Madison says, "Life is short. Have an affair." Solomon went down that path, but it was a dead end. To paraphrase, his ultimate conclusion was, "Life is short. Prepare for eternity."


Kyle Idleman is the Teaching Pastor at Southeast Christian Church, the 4th largest church in America, author of the bestseller Not a Fan, and executive producer of The Song, in theaters September 26th. For more information visit www.TheSongMovie.com.

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