Love Extravagantly

By Marita Littauer with Chuck Noon, MA, LPCC
Guest Columnist

CBN.com -- When I was writing the chapter called Celebrate Your Path, on the value of a mission statement, for my book You’ve Got What It Takes I looked at my own life. I realized that I had a defining statement or theme for my professional ventures, but I did not have a personal one. I knew how valuable my professional statements were so I could easily see the importance of a personal one. I was recommending this to my readers, but I did not have one myself. I mulled this over in my mind for several days. I focused on the need for a personal purpose statement.

I had been attending a women's Bible study at my church on the book of Ephesians and had been reading the chapter covered each week in several different versions of the Bible. One night before class I read Ephesians 5 in The Message.

As I read, God spoke to me through this verse as it seemed to jump off the page and hit me in the face: "Observe how Christ loved us. His love is not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that." I knew that my personal mission statement is “Love Extravagantly;” to love my husband with extravagance, not to get, but to give everything of myself. As I cook breakfast or dinner, as I do the dishes, as I do the laundry—all of these things are something of myself I can give, not expecting to get in return. My husband had been through a rough time. He had not been in a place to be able to give much. But I was. I wrote that verse out on my mirror in the bathroom to remind me of my mission.

Shortly after taking on this idea of loving extravagantly, I had to put it to the test. Chuck has a large radio controlled model airplane that has been a part of his life for over 30 years – he started it when he was eight and finally finished it twenty years later. We have painstakingly moved it from house to house. He built it and has too much of himself invested in it to risk flying it. With a five-foot wing span, you cannot just tuck it any place. In our home at the time it hung up near the peak of the cathedral ceiling in the family room—above my desk. With its bright red with Red Baron like decals, it is always noticed. Since it is important to Chuck, I have accepted it as a conversation piece.

Around the time of this revelation, Chuck took it down to take to a model airplane show. He spent hours cleaning off the accumulated dust that had firmly attached itself to every surface. The plane was very popular at the show and he discovered its value. Before he put it back on its hook, he wanted to protect it. He covered the body and wings with plastic dry cleaning bags, advertising and all.

I like my home to look like a showplace; you can imagine that even having the airplane there is an act of compromise and love. Having it covered with baggy dry cleaning bags with black and yellow words on them, went too far. Upon seeing the eyesore above my desk, I wailed, "I'll never be able to entertain again!" After my outburst, which I knew was an overreaction, I went outside and trimmed my roses. As I took a deep breath, I heard God speak two words into my head: "love extravagantly." Does it really matter if the airplane has a bag over it? What is more important, that my husband be happy or that I have a lovely home? Humm… that was tough. After some thought, I came back in and apologized—ready to accept the dry cleaning bags. Meanwhile, he had decided that I was right and it really was ugly. He took the plane down, removed the dry cleaning bags and was replacing them with clear plastic wrap that clung tightly to every curve and didn't even show!

This story is found in my book You’ve Got What It Takes, and I include the story every time I speak on it. Repeatedly after I share that story, people come up to me and tell me that “Love Extravagantly” is what they needed to hear.

I remember the first time I shared it. I was speaking at a women’s conference in Oregon. At the end of the day, a woman came up to me said, “out of everything that has gone on here today, Love Extravagantly is what I am taking home with me.” I thanked her and smiled. I realized I had hit upon something that wasn’t just important to me, it resonated with my audiences. I shared the same message with a group of women in Phoenix. At the end, an older woman came up to me and said, “What you shared about Love Extravagantly was for me.” She explained that her husband was terminally ill and she was his caretaker. She needed to remember to Love Extravagantly.

As I have continued to speak on the message of my book You’ve Got What It Takes, I have found the need for the Love Extravagantly principle to be universal. What began as a small part of my previous book, has grown into a message of its own. In the weeks and months to come, here on CBN.com you will see how others have taken the high road, not the easy road, to follow Christ’s example in their marriage—not to get but to give, not cautious but extravagant. From their examples you can apply the same ideas to your own marriage and expect similar results. With all the changes in today’s family structure, couples need something more than just love to make their marriages work. They need to Love Extravagantly!

Marita Littauer Marita Littauer is the author of 13 books and is President of CLASServices Inc. She can be reached through www.classervices.com.

Chuck Noon is a licensed professional counselor specializing in marriage. Chuck is married to Marita Littauer. For more information visit: www.chucknoon.com