Single, Not Diseased!

By Dr. Linda Mintle
Family Therapist

CBN.com – CLASSIFIED AD

CSF, NS (Christian single female, non smoker) seeking church affiliation. Strong professional/career skills. Multitalented, business acumen, organizational abilities, persuasive speaker, compassion for people. Will participate in nursery duty and food services but prefers nontraditional roles. Currently not a wife nor mother, but used of God. Looking for ministry opportunities that utilize my unique gifts. Interested? Don’t ask me to baby sit or fix me up with your friends. Want contemporary thinker who understands singles. Serious replies only.

How many of you would like to take out an advertisement like this and announce to the world (and the body of Christ) that being single is NOT a diseased state. If you do, you are not alone. Join with others who are tired of being asked to baby sit and have people assume they have no life. It’s time for the church to recognize that being single describes only one part of you. It simply gives your marital status.

The Advantages of Being Single

In fact, being single has its advantages over being married when it comes to serving God. Paul comments on this in I Corinthians 7:34-35.

In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. (New Living Translation)

He's basically saying singles are better able to serve the Lord without distraction. Specifically, he says the unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord. She should be holy in body and spirit. In contrast, the married woman cares about things of the world. His point here is that the single person is in covenant with God and can devote herself to the work of the Lord.

The most important person who ever lived, Jesus, was single. He was focused on doing the work of the Father. Jesus had little time to be distracted by family. Paul, and a host of others whose mission was to spread the Gospel, never married. So, why do we pathologize this state of being in the church?

A single person has great freedom to devote him/herself to the work of God because he/she is less caught up with cares of family and spouse. You may be called to be single permanently or for a time in order to accomplish what God has for you. Never think of your status as less than others. It’s time for the church to wake up and acknowledge the significant contribution you bring to the table.

Being single isn’t a diseased state. It can be a desired state. Know what God has called you to do and go about accomplishing it. Worry less about your marital status and more about being used of God. His promise is to supply all your needs according to His riches in glory.

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Dr. Linda Mintle is a author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years in psychotherapy practice.