8 Steps to Maintaining or Regaining Your Purity: 1. Confess your sins of impurity to God. 2. Admit your struggles and your desire to pursue purity to a trustworthy Christian friend/spiritual mentor who can hold you accountable and pray for you. 3. Avoid hanging out with people or watching movies that pull you down in areas of purity. 4. Replace impure thoughts with God's word. See Ephesians 5:3, II Timothy 2:22, I Corinthians 6:18-20, Job 31:1. 5. Date only Christians with the same commitment to purity (get to know them as friends and find out about their values before considering them as a possible date). 6. Invite trusted Christian friends, family members, and/or accountability partners into your relationship. Ask them for feedback or observations about the relationship (especially red flags), for prayer, for guidance and suggestions, and for their continuing honest input. 7. Plan to spend your time together in group dates, hanging out with family or friends, or in public places instead of isolated places. 8. Keep physical affection at a minimum. In the early stages of dating, treat it like a friendship. If you are seriously considering marriage, be especially vigilant, and don't make excuses for raging hormones. In our dating relationship, my husband and I found that kissing on the lips is where the trouble starts. A good rule of thumb is to treat any dating partner like your sister/brother (see I Timothy 5:2)…holding hands or a kiss on the cheek is a great way to show affection in a serious dating relationship.

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Apple of No Regrets

By Julie Ferwerda

CBN.com – "Just look at these beauties I baked for you today!" I flashed the heaping platter of fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate chunk cookies in front of the hungry stares of the high school youth group I was speaking to about dating and sex. It wasn't surprising that I had figured out a way to work cookies into the equation for the object lesson I had prepared, since cookies are my favorite.

"This is my own very special recipe that I am sharing with you tonight. Feel free to come on up and take one, but remember to wait to eat it until I give the go ahead." Setting the cookie platter down on the table next to me, I observed that I didn't have to ask twice. Immediately the kids descended upon the delicious looking treats like bees on honey.

Next to the plate of cookies, I also had a plate of freshly sliced, juicy, crisp apples. I didn't mention the apple wedges even though they sat on a plate right next to the cookies. As they each filed up to grab a cookie, not one kid took an apple slice or even asked about them.

When everyone sat down, I gave the thumbs up and we all began to scarf the chocolaty treats. Because I didn't want anyone to ruin the surprise, it was important that we all eat our cookies at the same time. The kids didn't know that I had substituted unsweetened baker's chocolate for the chunks instead of regular sweetened chocolate. If you have ever eaten that stuff straight you know how extremely bitter it is. But the funny thing I discovered while experimenting in the kitchen was that the sugar in the cookie masked the bitterness of the chocolate. That meant that no one noticed anything unusual-at first.

A couple minutes later, someone daringly called out, "I have a really bad aftertaste from that cookie." Soon everyone in the room had a grimace on their face, echoing the same sentiment and looking around for any quick remedy to wash it down.

Pouncing on the opportunity, I used the impressionable illustration to make my point. Sex before marriage may taste sweet at the time, but the emotional, physical and spiritual consequences leave a bitter aftertaste in your life. Sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, emotional baggage, guilt, regret and spiritual roadblocks are many of the consequences from opening God's intended wedding gift before the wedding.

Next, I asked them why no one took the apple.

"Because you told us to take a cookie. We didn't know the apples were an option."

Maybe you, like the kids in that youth group, have not been told that you have options -- better options. You are growing up in a day and age when the world is telling you from every side -- movies, television, music, and peers at school -- that sex is normal…even expected. They tell you to have sex, and to have it safely, but few people encourage you that there is another way that is better for you called abstinence. Abstinence, like the apple, is healthy and beneficial to your life---emotionally, physically, and spiritually-with no bitter aftertaste. Not only is it good for you, you never feel guilty about including it in your relationship diet.

So what if you have messed up…what if you have made some mistakes along the way and have been enticed by the misleading cookie? I have good news. Although it takes a great amount of self control to back up and take a new direction, it is never too late to start obeying God-to enjoy the benefits of abstinence. Start today by asking forgiveness and deciding to turn away from your sin of impurity. God is the God of second chances and He is waiting to give you a fresh start-a clean slate. He says that when we ask forgiveness He washes us white all over again and doesn't even remember our sins anymore.

So how about it…want an apple? No regrets!

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