“Everyone says, ‘God's right here, He can help you. He hears you; He sees you, He knows you.’ Then why as a child am I experiencing this abuse? I felt God left me. I felt abandoned by Him.” Talissa Thomas didn’t always feel forsaken by God. As a child, she enjoyed going to church and prayed often, yet being the pastor’s kid, she felt pressured to put on a good face. She says, “I felt like sometimes I was in a fishbowl where everyone was kind of like looking in on me. If I did something wrong, I kept it hidden because I didn't want anyone to know or think less of me.”

In middle school, Talissa had even more to hide: a growing dependence on prescription drugs. It started with taking pain pills for ongoing health issues. Then, she needed Xanax to help with depression. Quickly, she depended on both. She recalls, “That was an escape from like the real world and when that high, when that attention went away, then I was left with a lot of shame and guilt because I was living this double lifestyle.”

Then, in junior high, a distant relative started physically and emotionally abusing Talissa. She asked God to make it stop, but it didn’t. Talissa says, “I felt so abandoned and so isolated. Everything I was learning about Him was so further from the truth than what I was experiencing.” Despite her continued dependence on prescription meds, Talissa maintained the appearance of being a good Christian, all-the-while growing further from God. Then at 17, while online, she discovered a new way to appease her pain: pornography. She recalls, “I watched my first pornography film and then it was like endorphins being released. It was literally like the same high I felt from taking the opiate and prescription medication. I would feel that same sensation of just calmness and just feeling good and like nothing else matters in the world.”

By the time Talissa left home to attend a two-year Christian leadership college, she’d completely swapped her pill addiction for pornography. She recalls, “The cycle that I was going in literally felt like I was like going deeper and deeper and deeper into the hole. I would go on binges where I wouldn't sleep at night. I would go in the church bathrooms and watch pornography. I would have to pull over on the side of the road to watch pornography. The pornography completely took over my life in a way that I would have never dreamed or experienced.”

Even as her addiction grew, she told herself it was harmless. Talissa says, “I would be like, ‘I am watching pornography, but I'm not sleeping around.’ And so it was like this whole line that I tiptoed my whole life. Like I'm not harming anybody. That's what was in my head, I’m not harming anybody but however, the whole time I’m harming myself.”

After graduation, Talissa started interning at a church. However, keeping up the façade became overwhelming. She says, “I can't tell anybody what's going on because it would just obliterate like everyone's opinions of me. I was like, ‘God, like I am so exhausted. Like I know this is not what you have for me and I don't know where you're at.' I feel so abandoned, so isolated, so defeated, so depressed, and the list goes on and on. And so, I don't know, I think it was just the feelings of that just like, I just have nothing else to give. Like I just need to tell someone my story.”

So, one night she decided to confess her addiction to her roommate, also an intern at the church. Talissa recalls, “It was so scary to say and to finally admit it, but at the same time it was kind of a sense of relief. Like, oh my gosh. Like I finally have told somebody like how bad this progressed. Like, I didn't feel as alone.” Her roommate suggested Talissa go to Mercy Multiplied; a program for women struggling with trauma and addiction. Talissa recalls saying, “Absolutely not! I was like, I'm gonna need God himself to come down from Heaven, appear to me in person and tell me this is what you need to do for me to do it.”

Talissa says that practically happened when the next Sunday God spoke to her through her pastor’s message. She says, “God for some reason laid it on his heart to speak to women specifically struggling in addiction and sexual addiction. And I remember sitting there in my pew and being like, He hears me. For so long I didn't know where God was for so long. I wondered if He saw me. And in that moment, I had never felt so seen or so loved even in the brokenness that I was in.”

The next day, Talissa confessed her addiction to the church leadership. They prayed for her, encouraged her, and helped her apply to Mercy Multiplied. She says, “I had told myself so many lies; ‘so many people are gonna be disgusted with you, Talissa, so many people are going, not even gonna wanna talk to you.' However, I went in there and it was the complete opposite. I felt so loved.” Through the program, Talissa says she was delivered from her addictions and rededicated her life to God. She says, “I let God know, I need to forgive you for these things because those were barriers from keeping me to getting like closer to Him. Because I had this resentment built up. Like, ‘where were you when I was going through this?’ He hadn't gone anywhere. It was me who kept going further and further away from Him.”

Today she is happily married with a growing family. As a behavioral therapist, Talissa is helping others struggling with trauma and addictions walk in the freedom only God provides. She says, “You are more than what you're experiencing, that you are more, and you deserve more and you're worthy of more than the addiction or that trauma that you're experiencing. God is so good, and He will walk you through it. You don't have to feel alone or isolated or abandoned because God is everything but that and He's there for you.”
 

Ross Johnston is a revivalist who is a leader and co-founder of California Will Be Saved. He has a heart for loving Jesus, building family, and preaching the Gospel. He is also one of the persons who is on the frontlines in leading revival in California as well as on a mission to unite the body of Christ. He recently left his six-figure job at one of the top online businesses in America to become a full-time missionary in California with the desire to lay his life down for the Gospel.  

TESTIMONY:

Ross was born by artificial insemination and grew up in a lesbian household with two moms. At 15 years old he was invited to church where he encountered the Holy Spirit and presence of God for the first time in his life. He then surrendered his life to Jesus and became born again. Shortly after he began attending college in San Diego where he earned his degree and began to run multiple businesses – and eventually walked away from the Lord. When 2020 came, the Holy Spirit spoke to him and said, “If you don’t stand now, you never will.” This was the moment he knew he was born for and decided to resign from his full-time job and pursue what the Lord had spoken to him about preaching the gospel. His heart burns for revival: that the church would be revived back to first love for Jesus, the lost would be revived to life through Jesus and that society would be reformed back to God’s design. 

REVIVALIST:

Ross’s own words read as follows: “My greatest desire is that the presence of Jesus would become the greatest reality and desire of our lives. To love Him and be loved by Him are truly better than life itself. My hope is that in the same way the spirit of revival woke me up, set me on fire and launched me to impact my family and the nations of the earth that the same would happen for you. I believe this community will ignite revival in you which will lead to revival through you in a lost and broken world. I truly believe revival is the only hope for our world, why? We’re out of all other solutions, it is revival or bust. Either the body of Christ catches this spirit of revival to revive our society back to Jesus or the future may be one we can’t quite imagine."

Ross believes that revival is the hope for world. We can’t look to the elected officials or “social and economics” for answers. Our answer will only be found when the Spirit of the Lord begins to move in our generation. Ross breaks revival down into three “strands.”

•    The Church “body of Christ” is awakened and revived to her first love-Jesus.
•    Non-believers surrender to Christ, are born again and thus “revived back to life.”
•    Spirit filled believers are influenced and governed by Jesus, they will affect all spheres of society and will pray the prayer found in Matthew 6 “May your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

Jesus is the only way to revival; He alone is the “hope of all nations.”  

“The Revivalists is a private community with a singular prophetic vision to equip, train and send revivalists across the nations. This community is for stay-at-home moms, business owners, students, athletes, and everyone else in between. His desire is that regardless of occupation or position you would begin to experience revival in your personal life that would then flow out of you to impact the world around you.”

Discover more about Ross Johnston at his website: RossJohnston.co.
 

For forty years, Mary has lived in Miorre village in Kenya. The quest for water has been a daily challenge. Mary explained, “It’s a long way down a steep valley, navigating very bad terrain. There are always a lot of people by the river waiting for a chance to fill their containers. It’s a long wait for water that tastes and smells like animal urine. People fight over this water. I also carry dirty clothes and dishes to wash by the river. At the end of the day, I am so tired from carrying everything back home that I feel like a heavy rock is crushing my chest. We make regular trips to the hospital, because the water makes us sick. The doctors recommend that we treat the water before using it, but we don’t have anything to treat it.”

Thanks to your support, Operation Blessing drilled a well, installed a solar powered pump, and put multiple distribution points in her village. Now, Mary and her neighbors have access to safe, clean water. 

“We often dreamed of having fresh water, and now thanks to you that dream is a reality!” exclaimed Mary. “When I first tried this water, it tasted very good. People have come from afar just to taste this water. Having it so near has really helped me. Our hygiene has really improved, too, because we can keep things clean and wash whenever we want. I can even fetch water at night and take a refreshing shower before going to bed. We are very blessed indeed. Water is life, and you have given us life. Thank you so much. May God bless you for all you have done for us.”
 

SEASONS OF LIFE

In each season of our lives there is a divine purpose. For two decades, Grace was single and struggled to understand why God had not answered her prayer for a Christian husband. She finally experienced the fulfillment of His promises when He brought Phil into her life after twenty years of waiting. Grace says, “He hears your prayers and knows your heart’s desires. Even when it seems like nothing is happening and nothing is changing in the situation, God is still at work.” Some seasons may be more enjoyable than other seasons, “But I believe you can flourish in whatever season you’re currently in. You can live your life and walk in your purpose,” shares Grace. 

FALL SEASON

This season is a time of release – a necessary season of letting go of offenses, unhealthy relationships, hurts, bad habits, toxic friendships, pride, unforgiveness and other heart issues before we can ever move on to the next season. Just as God provides for the trees and protects them, He is able to do the same for you. In order to grow deep roots we must make the decision to forgive ourselves and others. 

Grace’s family escaped the rule of Idi Amin in Uganda and fled to Duluth, Minnesota, in 1976. The pastor of their first church in Minnesota asked her family to leave because the congregation was uncomfortable with a black family worshipping with them. Their car tires were slashed and a brick was thrown through their living room window because people did not want them in their neighborhood. 

In elementary school Grace remembers going to the mall for the first time. A boy kept starring at her. He pointed at her and asked his mom, “Mommy, why is her skin so dirty? Didn’t she take a bath?” When Grace got home, she was determined to wash the “dirt” from her skin. It would be years before Grace realized her true identity, beauty, and value. The names she was called in middle and high school required a lot of releasing and letting go. She found her identity in the pages of the Bible, “I am a child of God.” 
 
WINTER SEASON

Unexpected challenges and unknown futures describe the winter season. Lessons learned in the storms of this time in our lives are deep and full of growth to shape us and make us stronger. Grace’s struggle for two decades was waiting on God to bring the right man into her life to marry. During her single years, she traveled the world, earned her master’s degree, bought her own home, and ran several marathons. She was intentional about living life to the fullest despite her extended waiting period for a spouse. One of the ways she was able to do this was by focusing on others around her instead of herself. For example, on Valentine’s Day she would send gift cards to couples or offer babysitting for free so parents could have a date night. It kept her from isolating herself and sinking into a cave of depression.

For years, she asked the Lord why He was having her wait so long. She never got an answer. Some people only waited two years to get married, yet she waited twenty. After she married, God finally answered and asked, “Grace, would you rather have a faith that is two years deep or two decades deep?” Grace shares, “The winter season had cultivated a level of faith and developed spiritual roots that no other season could have done. Although it was painful, the faith, wisdom, and spiritual maturity I developed over twenty years could not have happened in two years.
                                                                                    
SPRING SEASON

Be open to new experiences, people, ideas and perspective even when stepping out into the unknown is uncomfortable. Grace met Phil when she felt ready to give up. One of the obstacles she faced as a single person was that she was a minister. It became a deal breaker to some guys before they even got to know her. Although she felt called to ministry, she did not want to remain single. She decided to take matters into her own hands.

Grace’s new plan was to take real estate classes to become an investor while still doing ministry behind the scenes just not from a public platform. She would use the money she made from real estate investing to fund ministries and churches. She thought it was a solid plan. At the same time, she attended Bob Goff’s first Dream Big Workshop. On the second day of the seminar, he said, “Grace, you have something to say, and people need to hear your voice.” He also invited her to speak with him at an event he was keynoting the following week. She had been ready to walk away from her purpose because she felt it must have been keeping her from finding love.

Four months later, she met Phil. He came to work with her church. She says, “I would not have met him if I had run from my winter season, skipped the spring, and tried to enter summer by changing careers. Because I stayed planted in ministry and opened my mind to all that came in the spring season, I was right where I needed to be when God had our paths cross.”
 
SUMMER SEASON

The summer season is a time when everything is flourishing. We experience a deeper level of faith and spiritual muscles which develop our character and perseverance. When Grace shared her story with Phil, he encouraged her to write a book about her life experiences. He also suggested she attend the upcoming SheSpeaks conference which trains writers, speakers, and leaders to communicate their God given messages. Phil was the chairman of the board for the organization that put on the conference. At the conference, Grace had an interview with a literary agent. Prior to the meeting, she asked Phil to pray for her. Later that night they went to dinner to celebrate Phil’s birthday and talked for three hours. When she returned to her hotel Grace asked the Lord, “Is this who you have for me?” She felt the Lord whispered in her heart, “He is My gift to you.” 

Phil was a widow with two daughters. He and Grace dated for eight months and married six years ago before her forty third birthday. She is thankful for God’s faithfulness despite the long winter season she endured. Grace says, “Phil is my greatest gift. We are loving life, walking in our purpose, and serving God together.” They have been married for six years. Together they lead focus412, an organizational leadership and coaching ministry that helps churches grow. Through this ministry, they have worked with some of the largest and most influential churches across the country.

It is possible to be in two seasons at the same time. To be celebrating something in the summer and walking through a difficult situation in the winter. Grace and Phil recently celebrated the joy of a gender reveal party for their first grandchild. Four days later, Grace’s mom was in the hospital having suffered from a medical emergency.  

To purchase your copy of Grace Wabuke Klein's book, Flourish, and to know more about Grace, please visit her websites: www.GratitudewithGrace.com and www.GraceWabukeKlein.com.